Meet Adam and Steve

Straight Dude. Gay News. Episode 10: Louis J. Marinelli Reveals the Truth About NOM

2011-04-10T15:58:00.002-04:00

The illusion that makes up NOM’s base of support, by Louis J. Marinelli

Straight Dude. Gay News. Episode 9: Louis J. Marinelli's Change of Heart

2011-04-10T01:02:00.002-04:00

Straight Dude. Gay News. Episode 8: Sweetwater Housing Authority

2011-04-08T21:58:00.003-04:00

OneNewsNow article "Homosexual influence = 'tyranny of the minority'"

Williams Institute study: "How many people are lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender?"

City-Data.com page for Sweetwater with 2009 population count

Queerty article with an image of the letter

Sweetwater boards and commissions meeting locations

A Perfect Microcosm

2011-03-19T11:57:00.005-04:00

I try not to waste my time deconstructing idiocy, but this morning I just can't help myself. The Italian newspaper Il Giornale recently critized the IKEA furniture company for its Italian billboards showing two men holding hands. In a very few sentences, Il Giornale managed to achieve such a high density of puerile self-contradiction that they managed to touch on every reason why I'm a straight ally.

Here are the statements from Il Giornale, as reported by the UK Daily Mail.

Il Giornale, the newspaper owned by ruling prime minister Silvio Berlusconi, who has promoted himself as a defender of family values despite his involvement in a series of sex scandals has condemned the advert.

It labelled it as 'provocative' and added: ’What's behind all this? It's not awareness of gay rights for gay couples. It's just a brazen marketing strategy.’

The paper went on to say that it was 'not an isolated incident' but a clear attempt at 'Swedish Imperialism' that tried to make everyone equal by having the same 'cheap furniture.'

Il Giornale added:’One has to ask what is the point of such a campaign by IKEA in Catania - it's obvious that they are just trying to get themselves talked about.’

Berlusconi and his ruling People of Freedom Party have long championed family values and aligned themselves with the all-powerful Catholic Church which condemns homosexuality and same-sex relationships.

Il Giornale's website was inundated with outraged comments protesting at what they called a 'shock campaign' but gay rights campaigners in Italy welcomed the advert.

For me, the most obvious and galling fallacy is that the billboards constitute an attack, and that the people viewing them are victims. Il Giornale calls them "provocative", a "shock campaign," and... oh, this is wonderful... "Swedish Imperialism"!

When I think of imperialism, I think of Cromwell, whose heart filled with a Puritanical fire that cleansed Ireland of half its population. I think of the genocidal relocation of native Americans. I think of redcoats bayoneting Indians in that inimitably British way that gave Kipling such a manifest boner. I think of tank treads rolling over village greens, and over dissidents. And I think of IKEA, who erected a vertical piece of paper bearing the image of two men holding hands.

Those bastards!

Ahem. Yes. So, just to be clear: disagreement with me does not constitute an attack on me. Please, everyone, learn this simple rule. Because you will be tested on it. Oh, not by me; don't be silly. No, you'll be tested by your God. Or your gods. Or your lack thereof. We all have it comin', kid.

Now let's move on to the assertions of IKEA's "real" motivations, because they are revealing. Il Giornale says "What's behind all this? It's not awareness of gay rights for gay couples. It's just a brazen marketing strategy... One has to ask what is the point of such a campaign by IKEA in Catania - it's obvious that they are just trying to get themselves talked about."

Wait, what?

Il Giornale, you just said that IKEA was a bunch of "Swedish Imperialists". I imagined their hideously powerful invasion force carrying brown boxes full of ingeniously packed tank parts across the Alps for easy assembly in Italy. And now you're telling me that they're... they're businessmen who are so desperate for revenue that they've resorted to hollow sensationalism? Wait... so who's the victim here? Get your story straight, Il Giornale!

Now, consider the accusation that IKEA does not care about gay couples, but is simply trying to get attention. Do you see the implication? Il Giornale is saying that any "normal" person could not genuinely care about gay couples! In fact, the very fact that IKEA purports to care about gay couples is, to them, proof of their insincerity!

And now we've arrived at the core of why I'm a straight ally.

A while back I talked about my unselfish motivation: GLBT folks represent about ten percent of the human population, and no force in human history ever won out against nine-to-one odds. Therefore GLBT folks need help. They need straight people to stand up and say "I'm no more of a human being than they are."

But I have another motivation -- a selfish one. The folks at Il Giornale are not uncommon. There's a lot of people like them on this planet: people who have been steeped in their religion for so long that the free exchange of ideas is anathema to them. And if they ever get their way, then here's what will happen: they will get rid of the Muslims; they will get rid of the fags; and then I will be the next one up against the fucking wall. Because I have made it publicly known that I do not believe in God. And remember how, to many minds, disagreement constitutes an attack? Yeah. That's the mindset that puts bullets in skulls just like mine.

Straight Dude. Gay News. Episode 7: Confusion Over Same-Sex Marriage Laws

2011-03-10T15:37:00.004-05:00

Original text of SB5

SB5 as passed

Ohioans protest SB 5 to save unions, domestic partner benefits

FYI: Senate Bill 5 DOES NOT redefine marriage in Ohio

Ohio’s Radical Anti-Union Bill Also Has A Hidden Provision To Deny Equal Rights To Same-Sex Couples

Ohio Antilabor Bill Goes Antigay

The Rachel Maddow Show, March 3

Wikipedia article: Same-sex marriage law in the United States by state

Straight Dude. Gay News. Episode 6: Maryland Marriage Equality

2011-02-20T20:18:00.004-05:00

Sources:

Baltimore Sun: Gay marriage legislation filed in General Assembly

Text of SB116

WBAL TV: Some Christians Give OK To Same-Sex Marriage Bill

Equality Maryland: Marriage Equality - One Step Closer!

Baltimore Sun: Gay marriage has the votes to pass state Senate

Baltimore Sun: Gay marriage has the votes to clear Md. Senate

Straight Dude. Gay News. Episode 5: Amber Yust

2011-02-20T19:13:00.002-05:00

Sources:

"Transgender" article from Wikipedia

San Francisco Chronicle article

Meet Stephanie

2011-01-20T12:15:00.003-05:00

I’m Stephanie. A mother of two, a massage therapist, and I try really hard to be vegetarian, but sushi is my downfall. I have a couple of chickens in my garden, so I fancy myself a farmer sometimes. I like reading, blogging, watching repeats of Criminal Minds, and I’m bisexual, an avid walker, a sci-fi & fantasy novel buff, and I have a poster of The Nerve and Blood Supply to the Foot next to my computer while I type… no idea why. And that’s a bit about me.

Bio: Dr. Stephanie Smith-Browne is the author of “Gothic and the Pacific Voyage.” She studied 18th-century British literature at Princeton and holds degrees in politics and the arts from Columbia. Her work has appeared in the Literature of Travel and Exploration; The Times, London; BBC Radio Arts and Drama; and various poetry and literary journals. A poem from her Cannibal God series was nominated for the Pushcart Prize. She currently writes on bisexuality and lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender human and civil rights.

Stephanie saw my previous post on Evelyn, and asked to be a face of the day. I was all too happy to oblige. Thanks Stephanie!

Meet Evelyn

2011-01-19T13:15:00.004-05:00

The year 2010 was a remarkable time in my life to witness an historic event in our American History. On December 22, 2010, I witnessed President Barack Obama sign the most important bill since the Voting Rights Act of 1964. It has been a few weeks, since President Obama repealed Don’t Ask Don’t Tell. This is the beginning a new social transformation of the U.S. Military. My holiday season began with an overwhelming experience. I had the life-changing opportunity to personally shake the president’s hand and hug him-to thank him for supporting “The Forgotten Ones” The Women of Color; the largest population impacted by Don’t Ask Don’t Tell. In the past 8 months, twice I handcuffed myself to the White House fence to bring awareness and attention to the plight of “The Forgotten Ones” The Women of Color. My act of civil disobedience was a fight for equality for the entire lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender people that suffered in silence. It was worth risking losing my teaching license-and I would do it all again. I am a servant in God’s Army. I follow the steps of the purest social activist, his name is Jesus Christ and that is to show and demonstrate love for our brothers and sisters. I am honored for this recognition. It comes on the heels of being named one of “The Education Heroes of 2010” and being selected as one of the pictures for “2010 The New York Times 100 Pictures of The Year (Photo 82)”. All I can say is thank you for returning the love.

Evelyn Thomas, a veteran of The U. S. Army and U. S. Marine Corps, she is the founder and Executive Director of The Sanctuary Project (www.sanctuaryproject.org). The activist ministry is headquartered at Pilgrim United Church of Christ in Carlsbad, California. This past fall, Post 2 of The Sanctuary Project opened in Texas. She formed the ministry out of the desperate need and failure of The Department of Defense to protect its service members under the Don’t Ask Don’t Tell policy. Ms. Thomas is a licensed secondary educator. Ms. Thomas conducts research in the field of social transformation as the catalyst for legislative reform spearheaded by marginalized populations and the Critical Race Theory as a lens to study homophobia and racism in the public education system. In 2007, she mentored 10 Oceanside High School students to establish the 1st Gay Straight Alliance in the school’s 100 year history. Which was not an easy feat for the students, the school is located outside the gates of Camp Pendleton, California [the largest U.S. Marine Corps base on the west coast] and within North County [which is the “Bible Belt and Conservatism] of San Diego County. In 2009, Ms. Thomas collaborated with the EEO Manager of Human Resources for The City of Oceanside to develop a mandatory Diversity Training Program for all city employees about LGBT issues that may manifest in the work environment. It was the first human resource training to deal with LGBT issues. In 2010, Ms. Thomas developed and implemented the Breaking the Silence training for the Oceanside Unified School District Leadership Team-to guide administrators and teachers to develop the foundation, knowledge, skills, and strategies to better serve the LGBT students, parents, staff and faculty. Her book, Does Butch Nappy Hair Offend You? One Teacher’s Struggle for Acceptance in the Professional World of Education was published in May 2006 by the California State University, San Marcos Press, The Road to the White House [a short essay] was published in May 2010 by the San Diego Gay & Lesbian News, authored curriculum for Civics Education Voices of Change: The American Creed: Freedom of Expression, The Color of My World, etc... and in November 2010, Ms. Thomas participated in the U.S. Marine Corps Writer’s Forum in New York City presenting “The Red Scarf”: a short story of a African-American Transgender Servicemember.

Education: California State University San Marcose
Master of Arts in Education: Teaching, Learning, and Leadership, 2006
Social Science Credential, Cross-Cultural Language and Academic Development February 2003
Bachelor of Science: Business Administration: Service Sector, 1999

Professional
74th Assembly District San Diego County Central Committee Representative
Social Science Educator
Founder and Executive Director, The Sanctuary Project AKA The Sanctuary Project Veterans
Chief Executive Officer, The Thomas Systems Associates
GetEqual Provisional Board Member
North County Women’s Democratic Club Treasurer
Professional Writer

I know Evelyn through Facebook, and when she asked to be a face of the day I was happy to oblige. Thanks Evelyn!

The Metaphor Trap

2011-01-17T17:41:00.008-05:00

Lately I've been running into a lot of metaphors relating to LGBT rights. I tend to think in metaphor, so when I see someone using one to support a point with which I disagree, I can't resist deconstructing it and turning it back on itself. I find it satisfying -- so satisfying that I'm coming to see it as counterproductive. Please bear with me as I explain why. I promise to come out the other side of this with something useful to all of us as activists.

I few weeks ago, Johanna Maria Rose posted the following.

So let me get this straight... Larry King is on his 8th divorce, Elizabeth Taylor is possibly getting married for a 9th time, Britney Spears had a 55-hour marriage, Jesse James and Tiger Woods, while married, were having sex with everyone; and yet the idea of same-sex marriage is still going to destroy the institution of marriage? Really? Repost to your page if you agree - Proud to!

Gary Sibio disagreed.

Your argument is flawed. It's akin to arguing that the piano isn't a musical instrument because it sounds awful when a three-year-old bangs on it or a cat walks across it. Marriage, by definition, involves a man and a woman. It is not a relationship created by the government so the government has no authority to redefine it.

Here's my reply.

Gary I love the idea of new pairs of hands playing piano duets. It's an apt analogy because marriage, like the long line of instruments from which the piano arose, is an evolving concept. A piano bears as much resemblance to a harpsichord as the twentieth century notion of marriage does to its eighteenth century incarnation.

After failing to respond to me, and arguing with a few other people, Gary said

And after the government establishes "gay marriage" it can start to work on the square circle.

Again I turned Gary's metaphor on itself.

Well Gary, as straw men go, it ain't bad for a first try. It smells like sour grapes, which is good, 'cause ain't no crow gonna come near it. But it's awful flimsy lookin'. If a crow with no sense of smell comes along, or hell, a good stiff breeze, then that sucker's gonna be in the dirt! Speakin' o' which, here comes one now.

There is no circle. A circle has never existed and will never exist. A circle is an imaginary concept -- what Plato called a "form". In our "sensible world" we can draw circles, but these will never be more than imperfect reflections of that perfect and eternal circle.

Societies have been drawing their imperfect circles since there have been societies, and each society's circle has looked a little different from all the others. But I'd bet that wherever and whenever a circle has been drawn, there's been someone squawkin' about his circle bein' the only circle.

Then, last week, Laura Kanter posted a link to the Washington Post article Gay marriage isn't revolutionary. It's just the next step in marriage's evolution. Dennis Leight asked what I thought was a very important, and irresistible, question.

I've heard some people say "why does a peanut butter and jelly sandwich need to evolve?" What can you say to those people?

Here are the various responses I made.

Ain't nothin' illegal about eatin' a big thick peanut butter sandwich.
Should people who don't like peanut butter and jelly sandwiches be forced to eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches?
Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches don't have to evolve. But they will evolve. It's only the people here, now, who assume that peanut butter and jelly sandwiches will never evolve. Just like people from every historical epoch assumed that their favorite food was the pinnacle of something or other. It's normal, human, chronological myopia: the demonstrably false assumption that if I did it this way, and my father did it this way, and my grandfather did it this way, then by golly that's the way it's always been done. It's not true. It's never been true. But people have always believed it to be true.
A peanut butter and jelly sandwich is an evolving construct. The thing that comes to mind when you say "peanut butter and jelly sandwich" bears little resemblance to what someone just a few generations ago would have thought of upon hearing those same words. You think that an amalgamation of partially hydrogenated corn oil, bleached flour, cane sugar and added salt is a peanut butter and jelly sandwich because that's what the intersection of our particular culture and economic forces have settled on. But someone from fifty years ago would take one bite and spit it into the trash can.

The things with which we choose to fill our lives are constructs. Constructs evolve. Inevitably. Children take comfort from sameness. Can't we, as adults, take comfort from the consistency of unsameness?

Then, just a few days ago, Pam Spaulding linked to the Windy City Times article Cardinal George on gay marriage, in which Cardinal George was quoted.

While it is one thing "creating laws so that people don't feel persecuted," the cardinal explained, "don't create a law that says apples are oranges." For a lawmaker to do so, George added, he "betrays his vocation to pass good law," especially problematic for a "Catholic lawmaker."

This prompted the following from me.

Again with the food metaphors. He says "don't pass a law saying that apples are oranges". Fine, we won't. But what does that have to do with the issue at hand? I'll tell you what: apples and oranges were each made by this universe's tendency to spawn complex, self-replicating systems... or by God, if that's what you believe. Whatever. The point is that apples are as they should be, and oranges are as they should be. Likewise, straight people and gay people are as they should be. Would you try to make orange juice from apples? No? Fine. Then don't pretend that gay people don't exist, and don't deny them the right to marry the people whom they love. Simple.

It seems to me like Cardinal George wasn't being honest in his metaphors. If he was, he would've said "don't pass a law saying that rotten apples are apples". If he believes that gay people are defective, he should be clear about that and deal with the consequences.

I love playing with language. I love the challenge not only of taking apart the metaphor and revealing its flaws, but of making from the pieces a more robust machine that serves my own purposes. I love the idea of smiling in the face of the person from whom I took the metaphor, and thanking them for helping me make my point.

I love it too much.

Reducing political arguments to attractive metaphors may make people on my side smile and agree with me, but it's almost certainly not going to help me convert anyone. More importantly, it plays into the hands of my opponents. People who are against LGBT rights win by reducing people to one of two abstract concepts: a joke or a threat. And what is metaphor but abstraction?

So from now on I think I'm going to resist the pull of the metaphorical argument. From now on I'm going to refuse to talk in terms of abstractions. When someone starts talking peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, I'm going to cut them off, saying "We're not talking about peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. We're talking about people." The same goes for apples and oranges, or circles. We must refuse to allow the abstraction of a human being.

Not convinced? Don't think it's reasonable to dismiss those cute, punchy metaphors? Well, don't believe me. Just ask Plato. He was all up in that metaphor shit. Here's a summary of the Platonic conception of the elements from a page about da Vinci's Platonic solids.

Plato conceived the four classical elements as atoms with the geometrical shapes of four of the five platonic solids... This concept linked fire with the tetrahedron, earth with the cube, air with the octahedron and water with the icosahedron. There was intuitive justification for these associations: the heat of fire feels sharp and stabbing (like little tetrahedra). Air is made of the octahedron; its minuscule components are so smooth that one can barely feel it. Water, the icosahedron, flows out of one's hand when picked up, as if it is made of tiny little balls. By contrast, a highly un-spherical solid, the hexahedron (cube) represents earth. These clumsy little solids cause dirt to crumble and breaks when picked up, in stark difference to the smooth flow of water.

Yeah. Uh huh. We all know how well that "pointy fire particles" theory withstood the test of time.

Folks, just because the metaphor seems to fit perfectly... it's still just a metaphor. People are people. Nothing more, nothing less. So don't get sucked in. If anyone tries to reduce a person to an apple or an orange, let them know the error of their ways. Tell 'em they fail as hard as Plato.

I'm a side-sleeper.

2010-12-22T01:49:00.003-05:00

Tonight something came to me. Now, I wouldn't go so far as to say that, in order for this particular something to come to me, I had to be drunk. Nor would I say that my having run into an ex-friend in Wal-Mart earlier this evening -- a friend with whom I had a particularly painful falling-out last week -- was requisite to this particular insight. And I would be the last one to suggest that talking to a delightful trio of lesbians on Facebook was a necessary mental catalyst for the insight. I'm just saying that, for me, all these factors seem to have helped.

How many hours per day do you spend having sex?

No. It's not a prurient question. Really. Trust me.

How many hours per day do you spend having sex? I would guess that even the most sexually heroic of us could not lay (ha!) claim to having sex more than three hours per day. That's three hours average out of every twenty-four. Feel free to call me on that. No, really. You needn't feel guilty about making me feel like a doddering old bastard. I'll just sit here in the dark with my ham sandwich...

Anyway. Just for the sake of argument, let's say that anyone who has to work for a living is probably not spending more than three hours out of any given twenty-four having sex.

How many hours per night do you sleep?

Even the craziest fucker I ever met slept sometimes. Even people like Winston Churchill took catnaps that totaled to at least a few hours out of every temporal diurnal anomaly. Even the people who make me think "Damn, how the hell can they do that?" sleep around four or five hours per night. Which leads me to conclude that...

Even the most sleep-deprived person spends more time sleeping than he spends having sex.

So that means...

I could ask you "Are you straight, gay, bisexual, other?"

...and the answer to that question would have less bearing on your life than the following question.

"Are you a side-sleeper, back-sleeper, or stomach-sleeper?"

Straight Dude. Gay News. Episode 4: Akasha Adonis

2010-12-11T11:05:00.004-05:00

SOURCE ARTICLES:

November 27 Jackson Sun article about Black Friday, which briefly mentions the altercation

December 2 article in the Tennessee Equality Project blog

December 4 article in Queery

December 10 article by Jackson resident Jenci Spradlin

Alterité

2010-12-08T17:06:00.007-05:00

Since my conversation with my sister, I've been thinking a lot about trying to understand people who don't share my views about bendy folk. I suppose that's why I made such an unexpected connection last night.

I was listening to Professor Jeremy McInerney lecturing* about Greece in the aftermath of the Persian Wars of the fifth century B.C. My ears perked up when he started talking about how the Greeks defined themselves in relation to their enemies.

McInerney makes the point that, prior to the Persian Wars, not even the Greeks living within the Persian Empire saw the Persians as alien. There are records of Persian rulers of Greeks in Persian territory who worshiped the local Greek gods. Greeks served at the Persian court. Greek craftsmen went, happily, to work on Persian projects.

But then, during the Persian wars, the Greek attitude seems to have shifted. They came to see the Persians as effete, effeminate easterners. War had transformed their neighbors into The Other. In defining themselves, they had taken everything they thought about themselves and projected its mirror image onto their enemies. Some historians call this process alterité.

This all struck me as a possible answer to my question "Why on earth are people -- especially people who aren't even religious -- so uncomfortable with gay folks? What difference does it make?" Perhaps the answer is "They need to strongly define themselves, and this definition includes the assignment of an opposite."

But here's the question that has always maddened me: "Why the U.S.?" Why are we, of all people, so bothered by gays? In our short history we've prided ourselves in giving the finger to authority while we give a voice to the individual citizen. Of all people, shouldn't we be the ones to proclaim that a person's sexuality has nothing to do with his worth?

Well, let's look at us in relation to the Greeks. According to the theory of alterité, the Greeks needed to define themselves in response to war. That sure sounds familiar. World War II filled America's head with visions of its Greatest Generation. Since then the American man has had one heck of an image to live up to. To fulfill this need, did he also require someone to be everything the American man wasn't?

Then, long before the guns were cool, the Russians stepped in and gave us a whopping big boogeyman: a mirror in which we saw our dark opposite. Again the American man had a foil against which to define himself and a source of paranoia. Did this make him look around himself for his antithesis?

And in the midst of all this, some of the biggest civil rights movements in history arose. Liberals became more visible and organized. New media technology showed the world images of the military being called in to enforce desegregation laws. Liberal and conservative had a new arena in which each gleefully saw in the other an evil homunculus. Did this solidify the image of the gay as everything the Real American wasn't?

"What does it mean to be an American?" Aside from the years immediately following the American Revolution, I imagine that the years since World War II have been those in which Americans have most desperately needed to answer that question.

Does our fear of gay people stem from a need to define ourselves?

That question is not academic. It bears on my work as an ally. If the answer is "Yes" then the nature of that work becomes much more clear: my job is to break down the illusion of The Other. My job is to show people that The Other is us.

*Here is a transcription of the relevant sections from Professor McInerny's lectures.

One last aspect of the modern treatment of the Greeks we need to address is that over the last two centuries, as the modern nation states of England, Germany, France, and the US, have taken shape, moving out of being earlier kingdoms or constituting themselves are republics, they developed national identities as all nations have at some point. This is created out of a duel process of a consideration of what we once were, of our past, and of what the other cultures and civilizations are around us, the ones we deal with. This is the process often referred to as alterité, where we look at another culture or civilization and see in it the opposite of ourselves. We take our values and abstract the negative onto the other.

Now in the course of this century we've certainly seen that in the way that we in the western world have looked at the Soviet Union as it one was, and now that it's gone we have much different feelings about the Russians. Yet we thought of that world as being in some sense, our diametric opposite. More generally speaking, there's been a strong notion that we, all in the west, western Europe and the English-speaking world, North America, are somehow different from the east.

This has been a product of our colonial experience and history, and has meant we've had to think of ourselves somehow as being culturally quite distinct. Part of that process of identifying what we are, as opposed to what they are, has been to think about our past and what we come from. So the whole enterprise of studying the ancient world has really often been tainted by this notion of finding some kind of cultural superiority in the west, a superiority of our way of doing things. Whereas the east could point to Confucian philosophy, the aesthetic accomplishments of China or Japan, the western version of this has been to go back to our Classical roots.

...

More importantly, not only is Greece relatively insignificant in terms of the whole expanse of the Persian Empire, this I think is really significant: there were many Greeks living and working in the Persian Empire, and who did not think of the Persians as being a completely foreign and alien people who were the exact opposite of them. We know that, for example, as Persian power increased, and as they called upon stonemasons to build their extraordinary palaces, they were importing Greeks from Ionia, who were working quite happily in the Persian Empire. We know Greeks who were actually living at the court of the great king, working for him, recording, acting as doctors for the great king and so forth.

So I think that it is a great mistake to think that, at the time that the Greeks and the Persians first came into contact, there was an immediate sense that the two were destined to a final confrontation. That's a view that is dictated by subsequent events. But in fact at the time I think the world must have looked very different indeed.

...

The victory of the Athenians, the Spartans, and the rest of the Greeks, had enormous consequences for the Greeks themselves. It's from this time onwards, really, that we find the Greeks more fully articulating a sense of their Greek identity as opposed to another identity. In this case, the Persians playing the role of The Other. You may remember in a very early lecture in this series we talked about the notion of alterité, of defining onesself in relation to another culture. From this time on, the Persians will play that role for the Greeks, as that alien other culture. In fact one very good book written on the Greeks of the fifth century is called The Mirror of Herodotus, claiming that when Herodotus looked at the Persians he was really looking, in a sense, in a mirror, seeing the negative reflection of what the Greeks liked to see in themselves.

Consequences of this victory were wide-ranging and far-reaching. It is from this time, for example, that we find the Greeks in their political discourse often using the term "eleutheria", meaning "freedom". It's quite clear that the victory of the Greeks over the Persians resulted in them more clearly articulating in their own minds the idea of what freedom entailed. And so the characteristic notion of Greek freedom, that takes root at this time, is that it is the freedom of a community to exist autonomously -- free of the influence of an outside power. And this remained a powerful idea throughout the rest of Greek history and remains a powerful idea and an interpretation of freedom even today.

An ignoble question for my bendy friends

2010-12-08T16:39:00.005-05:00

My argument with my sister caused me a lot of pain. But my reaction to the pain actually felt worse than the pain itself, because I saw something in myself that I didn't like.

In talking to my sister I felt like I was communing with the ugliest aspects of my family. There's my uncle Frank, sitting around the table loudly proclaiming that "Wherever there are niggers in the world, there's trouble." There's my uncle Stanley sitting within arm's reach of my nephew and niece, saying something nasty about black people, in a house where I'm not supposed to say the word "gay" in front of those same children.

And there's everyone in my whole family talking to anyone but the person they need to talk to. Did person A piss you off? Well then, bitch to person B or C about it, but never talk directly to person A. And if you should actually talk to person A, make damned sure that you don't bitch about what you're really mad about. Bitch about something else. If we actually addressed our problems we might solve them, and where would we be without our anger and resentment?

This is how my sister had reacted to me. And what did I do? I went ahead and followed the same damned pattern. And when I finally let out my feelings, it was like popping a balloon: I don't seem capable of just letting a little of the air out; no, I have to let it all out in a big explosion.

In the midst of all this pain, I had a desire. I wanted to say to my gay friends "Can I have a pat on the head?" I wanted them to know what I'd done. I wanted some recognition, some appreciation, some love that would dull the pain.

That desire is beneath me. It defies everything I believe about morality: that I do what is right because it's right, regardless of whether anyone is watching. A moral act done with the thought of any reward whatsoever ceases to be a moral act and becomes nothing but service rendered for payment.

Yet I want it. I feel small and... smaller than any creature that could even warrant the word "ugly". But I want it. So I have to ask...

Is it OK that I want a pat on the head?

The Abyss Revisited

2010-12-08T15:22:00.006-05:00

I've been feeling bad since around Thanksgiving, when I had a troubling argument with my sister while visiting the family home. It wouldn't hurt so much if the argument had been about what happened that day. But it was about something that happened over a year ago.

Last year at about this time I wrote about how my sister shushed me for saying the word "gay" in front of her children. At the time, I got furious because I felt that I finally understood her previously incomprehensible behavior: she didn't actually disagree with my activism because, as she said, "[gay people] may not want your help"; the truth was that she didn't like gay people, and she didn't want me helping them.

So for a year I've been more distant, not talking to her about it because I felt like she hadn't been straight with me. Yeah, I know. Not the most productive behavior.

So when my bottled-up resentment came out, it came out big -- and it got bigger. Because when I first mentioned my anger over her shushing me, she rounded on me, expressing her anger that I would say "that word" in front of her children. I was so furious that I wanted to say to her "You're mad at me? Well, guess what? My mad is bigger than yours!"

So I started out by saying "You want me to pretend that gay people don't exist? Well, I guess I'd better not let them know that niggers exist, either, huh?" She sputtered in shock that I would make the comparison, so eventually I switched tactics. I said "OK, how about albinos? Should I pretend that albinos don't exist? What's the difference?"

My sister kept sputtering about how albinos look physically different, but with gay people it's a sexual preference. And I kept cutting her off, driving home the point that I was not talking about sex. This point is critical to me, because I feel that the primary argument against exposing children to the notion of same-sex couples is absurd. People say that for children to read a book about Timmy's two daddies is to bring sex into the classroom. Nonsense. I say -- and I kept saying to my sister -- that if you claim that the book about Timmy's daddies is sexual, then you have to say that a book about Jane's mommy and daddy is also sexual.

Well, long story short: I told my sister that there are hundreds of ways in which I will defer to her judgment in my interactions with her children, but I will not pretend that my gay friends don't exist. I said that I don't feel that she gets to edit my conversation to that extent. She said that she thinks she does. I replied that I would not bring any agenda to a conversation to her children, but if my friend Mel and her girlfriend should happen to come up in a conversation, I would mention them. And then it would be her choice whether she wanted to cut off my contact with them.

I was enraged and indignant and frustrated that night. My frustration arose mainly from my inability to articulate the distinction between those ways in which I will defer to my sister's judgment, and that one way in which I wont. The distinction is there. It's real. I can see it in my mind's eye, and yet... I can't articulate it to myself, let alone my sister.

I feel that the closest I've come is this: My niece and nephew do not deserve an uncle who is so craven as to desert his friends. They deserve an uncle who would never pretend that his friends don't exist. And I'm going to give them that uncle, or nothing at all. That's why I feel perfectly comfortable with telling her that if she doesn't like it, she can keep me from seeing them.

During the following days my anger faded, and I was able to feel my pain more and more. I wished that I'd brought up the topic earlier so that my anger wouldn't have had a chance to fester. Maybe then I wouldn't have left feeling like I'd just had a deeply encysted wound lanced. Maybe then I wouldn't have felt bad about castigating my sister for something that happened a year ago.

Then, once I was able to think more clearly, a new thought came to me: I missed a big opportunity. Since I became an ally and an advocate, I've known that it's my job to listen to people who disagree with me, because if no one listens then nothing gets accomplished. Only when one party makes the effort to genuinely engage with the other can a dialectic begin.

I let my anger get the better of me, and I unloaded all my self-righteous rage onto my sister. And in so doing I missed a big opportunity. After all, if I can't calmly listen to my sister, whom can I listen to?

So. Next time I have some time alone with my sister, I'm going to calmly ask her to talk to my about why she feels the way she feels. Until I do that, I can't hope to understand it.

Meet Teke

2010-04-08T21:04:00.005-04:00

On Good Friday 1984 my life ended as I knew it to be. No more going to my upper middle class school. No more hanging out, no more anything.
My church, my father, and everyone in our little town found out the horrible truth about me. On this day....I had to learn things that are never talked about in a classroom. I had to learn quick.
I learned how to hide my face when the beating began.
I learned that ten minutes was not enough time to "Get your shit and get the fuck out of here, FAGGOT!!"
I learned over twenty years would pass and still no family.
I learned a fifteen year old boy is a commodity.
I learned not to vomit in my mouth while old men trembled with exitment as they touched me.
I learned to get the money up front.
I learned what time certain fast food places threw leftovers into dumpsters.
I learned to steal.
I learned the police do not think gay boys can be raped,beaten, and left in a pool of their own blood and piss to die.
I learned......that I had actualy ASKED for that to happen to me.
I learned to carry a gun.
I learned.........to use it!
I learned God had not turned his back on me, its just that he was helping some one with more pressing issues.
I learned that sleeping under a river bridge at night was when I felt the most scared,alone, and very vulnerable.
I learned what the barrel of a gun taste like.
I learned that bullets will not work after they have been wet a few times.
I learned to hate my self.
I learned that this was all my fault for letting my hormones rage out of controll and wanting to kiss another boy.
This was all so many years ago, I have forgotton or blocked many things. I still get jealous when I here of kids with accepting family and friends. I am glad for them at the same time. Maybe some day, no gay kids will have to suffer for it. I know I was actualy one of the lucky unlucky kids.....
I learned........to survive!

I met Teke through Twitter and have enjoyed his YouTube videos ever since. Teke will be happy to know that, as I post this, I am tipsy from the two pints of Franziskaner that I just had at my local watering hole. Thanks Teke!

Meet Jacqui

2010-03-28T22:18:00.005-04:00

I'm a Canadian living in Ireland with my wife -- we married in Canada almost 5 years ago -- and our cats & dog. I work in retail and blog in my spare time. My blog (BigGayCloset.com) is a collection of stories and news stories related to coming out, aimed at providing gay people with a sense of community, and a place where questioning people can find stories they can relate to.

I'm addicted to news and politics. I love debating the issues of the day, and adore quiet pubs where conversation is possible. A good beer and a great argument make my day.

My parents were both very involved in politics from local to national -- my father is a conservative and my mother a liberal -- so I learned to enjoy politics as a game as much as it is a serious thing. I find nothing more exciting than staying up all night watching election results roll in, regardless of who is winning.

I studied percussion (that's drums and other stuff you hit) in university, but eventually dropped out when I realised I was gay. It all hit me pretty hard, and when a friend offered a chance to run away to England for a year, I took her up on it.

I ended up in Ireland, and fell in love.It's hard to believe that just loving someone changes everything, but it does.

I've been chatting with Jacqui on Twitter and was quite pleasantly surprised to get an e-mail from her tonight with her face of the day submission. Thanks Jacqui!

Meandering Manifesto, Part 4: Stability

2010-03-28T13:25:00.008-04:00

This is part four of my Meandering Manifesto series.

Last year, Grace and I went to a second wedding in Michigan. It was much more pleasant than the first one. This time the priest didn't say anything that made me apoplectic with rage. But he did say something that got me thinking.

He began with a statistic that something like one in two marriages end in divorce, then worked his way down a line of increasing religious context of the marriage. I don't remember the following numbers exactly, but that's not the point.

Of the couples who were married in a church ceremony, about one in fifty get divorced.
Of the couples who were married in a church ceremony and who attend church regularly, one in several hundred get divorced.
Of the couples who were married in a church ceremony, who attend church regularly, and who pray together at home, one in about twelve hundred get divorced.

As a left-leaning agnostic this made me squirm a bit. Those numbers made me uncomfortable. I found myself wanting to read up on the research to see if they were skewed.

Later, I realized that the degree of accuracy didn't matter. Because whether those numbers were spot on, or off by an order of magnitude, there's no doubt in my mind that he's right.

He's right.

A religiously involved marriage brings stability to the married couple and to their society.

Just stop for a minute. Don't react. Just breathe.

Now. Hear what I'm saying. We are adults. Not only can we hold contradictory ideas in our heads, we can also parse wildly disparate ideas that at first seem as inseparable as the hydrogen and oxygen atoms in water.

We can admit that folks on the other side of the political divide are right to call the bathwater dirty. That admission in no way implies that we favor throwing out the baby.

I admit that religion, marriage, and the potent combination thereof bring stability to our society. I do not, however, agree that the stable structure that we gain is worth the cost. I believe that the foundation stones of that structure rest on the backs of my gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender friends.

Stability always demands unity. Unity always eschews variance. People don't like what is different. Communities and societies and countries develop a collective animus against the unusual. This animus may well have served a vital purpose in primitive marginal communities which could have gone extinct if members had strayed from the norm. But today we are no longer primitive, or so we flatter ourselves. Today our hard-wired animus against sex and gender variance is out of all proportion to any conceivable harm that such variance could cause.

Traditional religious marriages bring valuable stability to my country, my community, and my life. I admit that freely.

And I don't care.

I don't want that much stability. I don't want stability at the cost of hatred. I don't want a life so stable that, while I'm hiking with my good friend Mel, we have to worry that someone might overhear her talking about her girlfriend. I'm not so ravening after peace and quiet that I want Vikrant to be anything less than himself, because I find Vikrant's himself to be quite a delightful one. And I sure as hell ain't willing to pretend that another person's sex life is any of my damned business, let alone that it could somehow threaten my wobbly-ass secular marriage.

Keep your stability. It's covered in blood and lies. My hands ain't the cleanest, but I'll be damned if I'll dip 'em in shit.

Straight Dude. Gay News. Episode 3: The Prom

2010-03-23T23:21:00.004-04:00

Wikipedia
Itawamba County School District Prom Controversy

Dallas Voice
UPDATE: No prom for McMillen / Cat Cora speaks out on prom controversy / Date set for hearing in lesbian’s suit over senior prom

3 News NZ
Ellen DeGeneres pays lesbian schoolgirl $30,000

She Wired
Constance McMillen's Classmates Exclude Her from 'Furniture Mart' Prom

Albany Times Union
To prom or not to prom

Clarion Ledger
Judge won't force Mississippi school to hold prom

Macon.com
Bleckley school officials allowing gay prom date

Straight Dude. Gay News. Episode 2: Mission Statement

2010-03-22T21:32:00.004-04:00

Which it's me givin' you the bleedin' mission statement, innit? And here's me, doin' all the work of providin' the background links...

Box Turtle Bulletin: Lt. Daniel Choi Arrested In DADT Protest At White House

Newsweek: Gay-Rights Protesters Stage Sit-In at Nancy Pelosi's Office: Leaders Stand Ready to Bail Out Activists

Queerty: Here's What Lt. Dan Choi + Robin McGehee Did Completely Right. And What Went Horribly Wrong

Wikipedia: Article on homosexuality

I Oppose ENDA Because It Could Lead To The Extinction Of Humanity

2010-03-18T09:30:00.013-04:00

The Employment Non-Discrimination Act, first introduced in 1994, would prohibit job discrimination against lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people. Contrary to what some activist judges would like you to believe, this is not an isolated piece of legislation. The Proponents of the “gay agenda” are systematically setting the stage for same-sex marriage and the silencing of those who would call their lifestyle immoral and sinful. But that's just the first step in their agenda.

Once we allow that first domino to fall, we are setting foot on a slippery slope. Same-sex marriage will lead, logically and inexorably, to the legalization of polygamy, bestiality, and pedophilia. And in the murky cesspool waiting at the very bottom of that slope lies a society with no moral compass -- a society where a man is free to marry his dog or his horse.

But do you see the truth? Even this is only the beginning.

After the dregs of our society are allowed not only to slake but to sanctify their every fleshy want, whence will their hungers lead them? Logically, they must turn beyond the flesh and into the microscopic world.

Having long ago left behind the sanctity of the marriage of man and woman, the men of this future society will cast aside all common sense in their perverse need to bond with ever more unlikely partners. Their gaze will fall upon the most readily available and eagerly bonding element of them all, and a new perversion will become commonplace: the marriage of a man to the lowly oxygen molecule. This will not only destroy the natural order of covalent carbon-oxygen bonding, but leave our very children gasping for breath.

We must protect the children.

And what is the next step in this clear logical progression? What will happen when that strumpet oxygen, sharing its electrons with anyone it meets, loses its allure? Man will turn to the simple, sublime charm of the hydrogen atom.

Our sun is only about halfway through its main sequence evolution; if it continues to follow God's plan, it has five billion years' worth of hydrogen fuel remaining at its core. Ah, but what if the voracious liberals of tomorrow are allowed to work their deviant ways upon our very cosmology? Far-fetched, you say? Let us turn to the Bible.

Colossians 3:14
And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

1 John 4:8
Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.

Do you still doubt that love, the kernel around which misguided liberals want to reform marriage, is powerful enough to tear apart our molecular bonds and through them our very firmament? Nuptuals between man and hydrogen atom will quickly deplete the solar reserves and push the sun prematurely into its red giant phase, engulfing the earth and ending all life.

Everybody likes new ideas, new rituals. The sanctity of marriage will never be replaced by liberal ideas about love. In the end, life and family are about the connection between one man and one woman. And ENDA is about trying to sterilize the earth with fire.

And to me the choice is easy.

The above satire is my humble contribution to the Bilerico Project Enda blogswarm. Please visit the Bilerico page, urge Speaker Pelosi to support ENDA, and fill in the form to let us know how the call went. The text of the Bilerico page is copied below

Take Action: Demand LGBT Employment Rights Today

Note from Bil: The Bilerico Project is participating in a blogswarm today with

Daily Kos,
Open Left,
Towleroad,
Pam's House Blend,
Joe My God,
Michelangelo Signorile,
David Mixner,
Daily Gotham,
Culture Kitchen,
Taylor Marsh,
PageOneQ,
Good As You,
Americablog,
Dan Savage, and others.

We're asking our readers to contact Speaker Nancy Pelosi and ask that she move the Employment Non-Discrimination Act (HR 3017) to a floor vote. Contact info at the end of the article.

The Employment Non-Discrimination Act, first introduced in 1994, would prohibit job discrimination against lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people. But LGBT people have never been able to achieve the enactment of the bill, known by the acronym of "ENDA".

Last year, the Administration's highest ranking gay official, Office of Personnel Management Director John Berry, indicated that ENDA was highest priority on the LGBT civil rights agenda.

"If we can get ENDA enacted and signed into law, it is only a matter of time before all the rest happens," he said. "It is the keystone that holds up the whole bunch, and so we need to focus our energies and attention there."

Hearings were held in the House and in the Senate to demonstrate the need for the bill, and testimony was heard on the severe unemployment, underemployment and harassment experienced by LGBT workers. Witnesses testified to the scientific studies demonstrating this.

The reason that workers need this protection is that the LGBT community is a relatively small minority, probably around 5% of the U.S. population, and there are many people with prejudices against them. This is also one reason that the bill has had difficulties in Congress: the minority in need of protection from discrimination are drowned out by the many bigots.

Civil rights, by definition, are needed most by those against whom there is most prejudice.

Various sponsors promised that the bill would move to a vote in August, September, October, and November of 2009. But in order to go to a vote, the bill had to pass through the House Committee on Education and Labor via a "markup" procedure. Markup was finally scheduled for November 18, 2009. But at the last minute, the markup was postponed, and has still not been rescheduled.

Initially, the Committee said that some technical language required tweaking, ostensibly to insure that plaintiffs could not recover too much money or attorney fees, and to prevent lawsuits based on inadvertent discrimination. But it has become increasingly clear that something else is at work.

A clue to the inaction: Speaker Nancy Pelosi publicly told Democrats that she would not move controversial bills. Meanwhile, the House Committee has stated its readiness to move, but is waiting for a signal from Speaker Pelosi.

That signal has not come. Meanwhile, LGBT Americans continue to suffer discrimination and harassment with no recourse.

President Obama famously said in a campaign speech that "Power concedes nothing without a fight."

We demand that LGBT people receive the same job rights as other people: to be able to get and keep a job based only on relevant factors, like job performance, and not on irrelevant criteria, like sexual orientation or gender identity.

There is a majority in both Houses of Congress in favor of ENDA. Now is the time to move it.

In 30 states across America, there is no law against firing someone based on his or her sexual orientation, and the same is true in 38 states for gender identity.

Will you join with us in asking that gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people be protected from job discrimination?

Click here to contact Speaker Pelosi.

Please call Speaker Nancy Pelosi at 202-225-4965. Ask that the Employment Non-Discrimination Act, HR 3017, move to a vote. Please be polite, but firm.

After you call, please tell us how the call went by clicking here. If you get a busy signal or hang up, let us know that too.

If you want more information on Speaker Pelosi's position, you can find it here

Let's work together to let Speaker Pelosi know that we want action now!

At the end of the day, we will post a round-up of how the day went. Stay tuned.

I recognize that smell.

2010-03-15T00:01:00.005-04:00

The Pennsylvania Senate is discussing John Eichelberger’s SB 707, which would amend the PA constitution to define marriage as between one man and one woman. The Judiciary Committee may vote on it as soon as tomorrow.

For more information see Thomas C. Waters's blog entry, which tipped me to the situation. See also Pittsburgh Lesbian Correspondents, whose blog swarm I'm joining with this entry. People like them know the situation in Pennsylvania much better than I. So I'm not going to tell you about it. But I will tell you a story.

January 27th was the last day of evidence in California's Proposition 8 trial. On January 29th Ron Prentice published a summary of the trial on the United Families International Blog. Here's the part that stuck in my head.

The controlling legal issue is not whether homosexual marriage is good or bad, but rather whether the people have the right to decide what is best.

Really?

Now that's interesting.

Because I thought that the controlling legal issue was the protection of the institution of marriage.

Let me check.

Yup. I was wasn't crazy. Ron Prentice is the Chairman of Protect Marriage dot com. Protect Marriage. Hmmmmm. I can't help but think that when he registered the domain name he thought that the core mission of his group was to, oh, protect marriage.

Make no mistake. When the Proposition 8 trial began it was all about protecting marriage. Just take a look at the Proposition 8 Trial Tracker and you'll see that. If Prentice's defense had had one iota of success in showing that same-sex marriages would harm anything at all, you can bet he'd be singing the same tune that was filling the air in early January. But he isn't. The tune has changed. Why?

I grew up on a dairy farm. My uncle sold the property when I was five, but we only moved a quarter of a mile down the road. So I spent my first decades walking the pastures and corn fields and ravines around that farm. I grew up accustomed to bad smells.

One day when I was in my early teens I was walking alone through the fields when I smelled something particularly bad. It was immediately apparent that something big had died. I followed the increasingly nauseating stench down into a ravine and, sure enough, there was the dead cow that I'd smelled hundreds of yards away.

Ron Prentice's words stink to high heaven. And just like the stench that hit me while walking through corn fields all those years ago, it doesn't take much effort to track the smell back to its source. In this case the big bloated cow carcass is Ron Prentice's desperation. He started by saying that he was protecting marriage, and the absurdity of that assertion has been illuminated. So now he's switching tactics. He'll say whatever he can to veil his hateful actions in a sham of logic.

When you look at the situation in Pennsylvania, don't be confused about What This Is Really About. The people who want to write discrimination into the state constitution want you to believe that it's about anything but discrimination. So they construct a What This Is Really About du Jour. What This Is Really About is plastic. What This Is Really About changes with the wind. Don't listen. Smell what's on that wind.

Follow your nose.

STRAIGHT DUDE. GAY NEWS. Episode 1: Spectra

2010-01-28T20:36:00.005-05:00

Of all the callow excuses for rhetoric I've heard in the marriage equality debate, the argument that allowing gay marriage is comparable to allowing people to marry dogs pisses me off the most. Here is my response. Please pass this along to anyone shameful enough to mention dogs in the same sentence as human beings.

Background links:

Connections between David Bahati and the family

David Bahati and “The Family” in Uganda Do not miss the incoherent rantings of Leroy Swailes in the comments!

Another article about Bahati at Box Turtle Bulletin

Wikipedia article about The Family

Rebuttals containing more nuanced views of the Ugandan connection

Followup NPR interviw: A Different Perspective On 'The Family' And Uganda

Jeff Sharlet speaks very positively about Bob Hunter.

Call Me Ishmael: Bob Hunter, Uganda, and Rachel Maddow

Pam's House Blend "Homobigots" page, which includes a bit about Leroy Swailes.

Mark Twain quote:

Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.

Matthew 25:31-46, King James Bible

31 When the Son of man shall come in his glory, and all the holy angels with him, then shall he sit upon the throne of his glory: 32 And before him shall be gathered all nations: and he shall separate them one from another, as a shepherd divideth his sheep from the goats: 33 And he shall set the sheep on his right hand, but the goats on the left.

34 Then shall the King say unto them on his right hand, Come, ye blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world: 35 For I was an hungred, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in: 36 Naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visited me: I was in prison, and ye came unto me. 37 Then shall the righteous answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, and fed thee? or thirsty, and gave thee drink? 38 When saw we thee a stranger, and took thee in? or naked, and clothed thee? 39 Or when saw we thee sick, or in prison, and came unto thee? 40 And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.

41 Then shall he say also unto them on the left hand, Depart from me, ye cursed, into everlasting fire, prepared for the devil and his angels: 42 For I was an hungred, and ye gave me no meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me no drink: 43 I was a stranger, and ye took me not in: naked, and ye clothed me not: sick, and in prison, and ye visited me not. 44 Then shall they also answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, or athirst, or a stranger, or naked, or sick, or in prison, and did not minister unto thee? 45 Then shall he answer them, saying, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye did it not to one of the least of these, ye did it not to me. 46 And these shall go away into everlasting punishment: but the righteous into life eternal.

Response From the White House

2010-01-28T07:03:00.003-05:00

Yesterday I received the following from the White House in response to my letter of January 18th.

Thank you for your message
Wed, January 27, 2010 12:39:11 PMFrom: The White House - Presidential Correspondence

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Friend:

Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me. I appreciate your perspective.

Every American deserves equal protection under our laws, and neither Federal nor state law should discriminate against any American. The issue of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender (LGBT) rights has all too often been used to divide our country. We must treat all of our citizens with dignity and respect, and stand united
in our protection of equality--a founding principle of our Nation and a moral imperative.

I continue to oppose a Constitutional ban on same-sex marriage and support the repeal of the Defense of Marriage Act. We must also extend the over 1,100 Federal marital rights and benefits to same-sex couples, because every American should be able to visit a loved one in the hospital, transfer property, and receive equal health insurance and other employment benefits.

My Administration is committed to addressing a full spectrum of issues important to the LGBT community. We can reduce discrimination by strengthening hate crimes statutes; supporting the Employment Non-Discrimination Act; ensuring adoption rights for all couples and individuals, regardless of their sexual orientation; and opposing discrimination in public accommodations. To combat HIV/AIDS, we need policies that support people living with this illness and increased funding for prevention, care, and research. I also support repealing the current Don't Ask, Don't Tell policy in a sensible way that strengthens our Armed Forces and our national security. Please join me online to learn more about my civil rights agenda at: www.whitehouse.gov/agenda/civil_rights.

Together, we can create a more open and tolerant society that
protects and values all people. Thank you again for writing.

Sincerely,

Barack Obama

To be a part of our agenda for change, join us at www.WhiteHouse.gov.

It's better than nothing, surely, although it doesn't address the subject of my letter. Mostly I consider it pap.

STRAIGHT DUDE. GAY NEWS. Episode 0: Introduction

2010-01-22T07:14:00.005-05:00

This is my first attempt at a video blog entry. Please let me know what you think. And please check out the Proposition 8 Trial Tracker, the website whose URL made me stutter.

Does anyone know what's going on with the horizontal compression? It didn't look like that when I was recording it. I'm using a Panasonic SDR-S26.

I believe that what I am doing should not be remarked upon

2010-01-20T21:52:00.008-05:00

A few years ago Joss Whedon was honored at an Equality Now event. The video is embedded below. You can find a transcript at the American Rhetoric Online Speech Bank. But please watch the video. If you can get through it without tearing up, you're harder than I.

I keep coming back to it because it's one of the most moving speeches I've ever heard, and because it explains better than I ever will why I do this blog. Just take the excerpt below and replace "Why do you write these strong women characters?" with "Why do you advocate for GLBT equality?"

How is it possible that this is even a question? Honestly, seriously, why are you -- why did you write that down? Why do you -- Why aren’t you asking a hundred other guys why they don’t write strong women characters? I believe that what I am doing should not be remarked upon, let alone honored and there are other people doing it. But, seriously, this question is ridiculous and you just gotta stop.
So, why do you write these strong women characters?

Because equality is not a concept. It’s not something we should be striving for. It’s a necessity. Equality is like gravity, we need it to stand on this earth as men and women, and the misogyny that is in every culture is not a true part of the human condition. It is life out of balance and that imbalance is sucking something out of the soul of every man and women who’s confronted with it. We need equality, kinda now.

So, why do you write these strong female characters?

Because you’re still asking me that question.

So why do I advocate for GLBT equality? Because equality is not a concept. It’s not something we should be striving for. It’s a necessity. Equality is like gravity; we need it to stand on this earth as men and women, and the hatred that is in every culture is not a true part of the human condition. It is life out of balance and that imbalance is sucking something out of the soul of every man and women who’s confronted with it. We need equality--kinda now.

So why do you advocate for GLBT equality?

Because you’re still asking me that question.

The Soloist Project: How to Sing to Sports Fans?

2010-01-19T21:17:00.008-05:00

I posted the following on SportsFags.com but I'm publishing it here as well so that I get as much feedback as possible.

Focus on the Family is spending $2.5 million on a Super Bowl ad.

I will use my blog to raise opposing voices. My idea is to make this part of "The Soloist Project", a grassroots letter-writing campaign.

Since I don't know sports, I'd like your advice on how to do this in an effective way. What sort of message would sports people respond to? Here's my first-draft idea for a sample letter to the editor. Please comment and make whatever alternative suggestions come to mind. I need help from sports people to communicate effectively.

To the Editor:

While watching the Super Bowl on February 7 you may notice an advertisement that promotes family values. At least that's what "Focus on the Family" wants you to believe. They want it badly enough to spend two and a half million dollars on it.

If you think for a moment it will become clear to you that "Focus on the Family" does not focus on anything of the sort, and that the advertisement does not promote anything. Their focus is on gay people, and their intent is to make sure that gay people remain second-class citizens.

If "Focus on the Family" truly cared about families they would focus on reducing the divorce rate. But they are not interested in telling people to be responsible for their own actions. Instead, they want to convince you that a minority group is the problem. They want you to believe that a minority group is a threat to you.

As you watch the advertisement, please think for a moment. Think about the fact that "Focus on the Family" spent two and a half million dollars in order to prevent people from having the same rights that you and I enjoy. And think about the fact that, if gay people were to gain more rights, it would not hurt your rights or mine in the least. If you don't believe that, then go to the internet and look up the current Proposition 8 trial. Not one of the Proposition 8 supporters has been able to name a single way in which same-sex marriage would hurt conventional marriage.

"Focus on the Family" does not focus on the family. They focus on bitterness, anger, fear and hate. That's a heavy burden. Don't let them hand it to you. And if you are already carrying that burden, then please consider looking a gay person in the eye and seeing that person as a human being just like you. Please consider laying your burden down.

Meandering Manifesto, Part 3: The Prisoner

2010-01-18T20:12:00.006-05:00

Continuing from Meandering Manifesto, Part 2: Moral Turpitude...

Grace and I were watching "Strong Poison", one of our old favorites. It's a marvelous BBC dramatization of the Dorothy Sayers mystery. At the outset of the story Harriet Vane stands accused of murdering her former lover. As I watched the first trial scene my gears started to turn.

In his preliminary speech the Judge warned the jury not to take the defendant's lifestyle too much into consideration in their deliberations. His condescending tone spoke volumes about his society. The following comes from the book.

"At any rate, in March of 1928, the prisoner, worn out, as she tells us, by his unceasing importunities, gave in, and consented to live on terms of intimacy with him, outside the bonds of marriage.

"Now you may feel, and quite properly, that this was a very wrong thing to do. You may, after making all allowances for this young woman's unprotected position, still feel that she was a person of unstable moral character. You will not be led away by the false glamour which certain writers contrive to throw about 'free love,' into thinking that this was anything but an ordinary, vulgar act of misbehavior. Sir Impey Biggs, very rightly using all his great eloquence on behalf of his client, has painted this action of Harriet Vane's in very rosy colours; he has spoken of unselfish sacrifice and self-immolation, and has reminded you that, in such a situation, the woman always has to pay more heavily than the man. You will not, I am sure, pay too much attention to this. You know quite well the difference between right and wrong in such matters, and you may think that, if Harriet Vane had not become to a certain extent corrupted by the unwholesome influences among which she lived, she would have shown a truer heroism by dismissing Philip Boyes from her society.

"But, on the other hand, you must be careful not to attach the wrong kind of importance to this lapse. It is one thing for a man or woman to live an immoral life, and quite another thing to commit murder. You may perhaps think that one step into the path of wrongdoing makes the next one easier, but you must not give too much weight to that conclusion. You are entitled to take it into account, but you must not be too much prejudiced."

The judge's disapprobation was palpable, yet his concern was genuine: he had to remind the jury that they were not to let their opinion of Harriet Vane's scandalous behavior dictate their judgment of the murder case.

This scene resonates because we've all heard about local and national scandals that have shaken our certainty that "that doesn't happen here" or "people of that class just don't behave that way". Well it does and they do. Yet folks go right back to believing otherwise, don't they?

Humans need to believe in things that are demonstrably untrue. In the case of sexual scandals, a community brings its collective hand to its mouth and gasps at one of their own having done something so shocking - so unheard of!

The first reason for this reaction is simple: it provides a way for a person to feel superior. She could be genuinely free of vice and fooling herself into thinking that sexual improprieties are rare. Maybe she has her own juicy skeletons but finds ways to rationalize them. Or perhaps she simply enjoys her cynical triumph in covering up her own liaisons better than that sap on the front page. Whatever the specifics, everyone in the community gets to feel superior.

Methinks there's also a potent genetic reason why folks doth protest too much. Let's assume that I'm hard-wired to spread my genes around while keeping my neighbor from doing so. How would I go about it? Well, fulminating about sexual improprieties wouldn't cost me anything but could yield two benefits: it could draw attention away from my own dalliances, and make any guilt-prone people within earshot that much more likely to keep it in their pants. It's a two-for-one deal: cover and sucker-bait! For that kind of reward I could see myself getting very noisy in my hypocrisy.

So people maintain their illusions of propriety by casting stones at those who violate them. And I believe that bendy people make a very convenient target. That's why straight people love to pretend that gay people don't exist, and why they freak out so much when gayness happens. It is in their best interests to play out both acts of the charade.

Meet Vikrant

2010-01-18T19:04:00.004-05:00

My name is Vikrant, I'm 29 yrs old, born and raised in North NJ.
I'm a Food Scientist at a flavour company. We develop the flavours that go into your favourite products to make them taste so good, like Soda, Juice, Tea, Candy, and French Fries etc.
You should read Fast Food Nation, there's a whole chapter on our industry, we can make anything taste like anything.
Though I studied Food Science at Rutgers, I never had a clue what I'd wind up doing as a job and I feel pretty lucky to have found it by accident.

I played the Trumpet all through school and I'm still singing in Choir. Music is my life. If I could make a living off of Music I'd do it in a heartbeat, but I just leave that to the professionals. However, the experiences I had at Rutgers were amazing. I had the opportunity to sing all over Europe with the Rutgers Glee Club. It was such an honor to sing a Mass at Notre Dame in Paris and just as exciting to stand and perform in the middle square of Prague. I now sing in an excellent community choir and try to see as many professional and college concerts as possible.

Please see the excellent articles in which Vikrant was recently featured:
You are not a gay
Coming out of the desi closet

Vikrant was my neighbor when Grace and I lived in Millburn. We got to know each other and when the conversation came around to Meet Adam and Steve I found out that he was not only eligible but willing to be a face of the day! Thanks Vikrant!

My Letter to the White House about the National Prayer Breakfast

2010-01-18T18:42:00.002-05:00

This is the letter I just wrote using the contact form on the White House website.

Dear President Obama:

During your campaign you promised to be a "fierce advocate" for gay rights. Since then, as many LGBTs and allies lost their patience with you, I stayed hopeful. I told myself that you can't be expected to fix every problem at once. I listened to people who said that, like Lincoln, you want to be forced to move forward on gay rights. I saw how few people were putting that kind of pressure on you, and told myself that you could hardly be expected to make a suicidal expenditure of political capital in its absence.

All that has changed. I've now joined the camp that has had it with you. You're planning to sit at the National Prayer Breakfast and pray alongside David Bahati? The thought is disgusting. If you do that, you will never reconcile your actions with your promise.

Please. Don't let history remember you as just another lying politician. And if your faith truly means anything to you, don't dirty it by sitting in the same room with an author of genocide.

Bahati Go Home

2010-01-18T18:29:00.003-05:00

President Obama is planning to attend the National Prayer Breakfast in Washington, DC on February 4. That's cool. Prayer is important. I don't believe in God, but I still say prayer is important. As a matter of fact, I think that the primary weakness of atheism and agnosticism is the absence of a focus for gratitude. I need to count my blessings, because they are great and they are many. It's always a challenge to do that without an entity to thank. I end up offering thanks to the universe, which always feels awkward and vague.

So I have no problem with Obama going to the National Prayer Breakfast. But I do have a big problem with some of the other attendees. David Bahati, M.P. of Uganda, is planning to come. He's the author of Uganda's "Kill the Gays" act. He'll be praying alongside members of The Fellowship Foundation, a U.S. conservative Christian group which influenced Bahati's murderous policy.

I hope that, regardless of your religious beliefs, you agree that this man does not belong in our country, and that our president does not belong in the same prayer session with him. Would you please sign the online petition to disallow entrance into the United States of David Bahati, and tell the White House that President Obama should not be attending the National Prayer Breakfast?

The Soloist Project

2009-12-09T20:25:00.015-05:00

Thanks for joining The Soloist Project in its fledgling stage! If you're ready to write a letter to the editor of a Central New York newspaper, you will swoon at the convenience of the handy-dandy contact links on my Newspaper List. So far that's all I've had time for, so if you live outside Central New York, please find your hometown newspaper on abyznewslinks.com and get writing those letters! And please come back and post them here so we can all applaud your solo!

It was around 1994 when I sang my first voice solo: a few bars from "Oklahoma" in a show tune medley. I was so scared that I entered a fugue state. It was as close as I've come to an out-of-body experience.

Solos are scary. The intertwining threads of harmony fall away, leaving your voice alone and exposed. Anyone with half an ear can hear the slightest flaw.

But you have a chance to shine, with no other lights to eclipse you. You have a chance to carry that room. God, what a thrill.

Lately there have been a lot of voices like this. They are embarrassingly desperate to affect logic but their lies and distortions are just variations on the theme of hatred. They can't disguise this any more than a man with an abscessed ulcer can hide the smell rising from the core of him.

And yet together these singers form a rough harmony of sorts. After all, if one gathers enough recta with complementary acoustic qualities, even a chorus of farts can attain a kind of sonorousness.

If you live in a small town and you're reading this, maybe you also hear a chorus of farts from your local newspaper. If you're like me, you've had it with people comparing gay folks to dogs. If you're like me, you're ready to scream at the hateful chorus.

But instead of screaming, how'd you like to sing?

Don't let the chorus be the only thing the audience hears. Take the stage, even if it's only for a few bars. Sure, the timpani and tuba and kazoos will thunder and blat in cacophonous disapproval the moment you're done, but what of it? You may not carry that room, but by god for a moment every ear will hear your joyful noise.

So make your voice heard. And don't let it be a fart - a fart alone on the stage sounds silly. Your solitude obligates you to sing well. Sing with abandon. Sing of love and grace and dignity.

Sing a solo.

The Soloist Project - Central New York Kickoff

2009-12-08T20:50:00.022-05:00

If you got here from Twitter, you've taken the first step toward showing Central New York that you support LGBT equality! Now you're just seconds away from sending a letter to your local newspaper. Please click the link below and raise your loving voice above the chorus of hate, anger and misunderstanding.

For more on this project, see below.

Last week Senator David Valesky voted "Yes" on S4401, the gay marriage bill. As the Syracuse Post Standard noted, he was the only Central New York senator to do so.

I think this deserves a big "Thank you!". That's why I wrote this letter, which was published in the Post Standard and will supposedly be printed tomorrow in the Madison County Courier.

To the Editor:

Wednesday the New York Senate voted 38-24 against S4401, “An act to amend the domestic relations law, in relation to the ability to marry.” I’m disappointed, but not surprised. Neither am I particularly discouraged.

A New York Times article said that “The vote means that the bill, pushed by Gov. David A. Paterson, is effectively dead for the year and destroys the optimism of gay rights advocates.”

The Times is dead wrong. My optimism is not destroyed. Far from it. I’m delighted with those numbers: 38-24. That means that 39 percent of New York state senators voted for marriage equality. Just 10 or 20 years ago, that would have been unimaginable. That is breathtaking progress.

Of the six senators from Central New York, only Sen. David J. Valesky voted “yes” on S4401. Sen. Valesky: Thank you. You bolster my faith that I will live to see gay people attain the same legal rights that I take for granted.

Hugh Yeman
Larchmont

But I think it deserves a bigger "Thank you!" than that. As a matter of fact, I think it deserves a "Thank you!" from every LGBT individual and ally in the Central New York area.

I've been meaning to start a nationwide grassroots letter-to-the-editor campaign ever since I had the thrilling experience of seeing my letter about the Link Trail published in the Oneida Daily Dispatch. This represents the perfect first step.

It will take a long time to develop a database of all U.S. newspapers along with their editorial contact information and/or their online letter submission URL. But, by limiting myself to Senator Valesky's district, I was able to put together just such a list in a fairly short amount of time.

So now that I have my list, all I need to do is start Twittering, like so.

#LGBT and allies near Lenox, NY! Would you please write a letter to Madison Eagle? [link to this page]

Let's see what happens.

LIST OF CENTRAL NEW YORK NEWSPAPERS BY TOWN

Baldwinsville	Baldwinsville Messenger	Editor: Erin Smith Email: messenger@cnylink.com
Bridgeport	Madison Eagle	Editor: Beth Pantzer Email: bpantzer@cnylink.com
Camillus	Eagle Observer	Editor: Ami Olson Email: aolson@cnylink.com
Canastota	Madison Eagle	Editor: Beth Pantzer Email: bpantzer@cnylink.com
Cazenovia	Cazenovia Pilot	http://www.cazpilot.com/wordpress/index.php/forum/
Cazenovia	Cazenovia Republican	Editor: Doug Campbell Email: republican@cnylink.com
Chittenango	Madison Eagle	Editor: Beth Pantzer Email: bpantzer@cnylink.com
Cicero	Star Review	Editor: Farah Jadran Pike Email: fpike@cnylink.com
Clay	Star Review	Editor: Farah Jadran Pike Email: fpike@cnylink.com
DeWitt	DeWitt Times	Editor: Tami Zimmerman Email: bulletin@cnylink.com
DeWitt	Eagle Bulletin	Editor: Tami Zimmerman Email: bulletin@cnylink.com
Eaton	Madison Eagle	Editor: Beth Pantzer Email: bpantzer@cnylink.com
Elbridge	Eagle Observer	Editor: Ami Olson Email: aolson@cnylink.com
Erieville	Cazenovia Republican	Editor: Doug Campbell Email: republican@cnylink.com
Fairmount	Eagle Observer	Editor: Ami Olson Email: aolson@cnylink.com
Fayetteville	Eagle Bulletin	Editor: Tami Zimmerman Email: bulletin@cnylink.com
Fenner	Cazenovia Republican	Editor: Doug Campbell Email: republican@cnylink.com
Hamilton	Madison Eagle	Editor: Beth Pantzer Email: bpantzer@cnylink.com
Hamilton	Maroon News	http://www.maroon-news.com/options/send-a-letter-to-the-editor
Hamilton	Mid York Weekly	http://media.uticaod.com/editorial/tools/share/submit_letter.php
Jack's Reef	Eagle Observer	Editor: Ami Olson Email: aolson@cnylink.com
Jordan	Eagle Observer	Editor: Ami Olson Email: aolson@cnylink.com
Kirkville	Madison Eagle	Editor: Beth Pantzer Email: bpantzer@cnylink.com
Lakeport	Madison Eagle	Editor: Beth Pantzer Email: bpantzer@cnylink.com
Lenox	Madison Eagle	Editor: Beth Pantzer Email: bpantzer@cnylink.com
Lincoln	Madison Eagle	Editor: Beth Pantzer Email: bpantzer@cnylink.com
Liverpool	Star Review	Editor: Farah Jadran Pike Email: fpike@cnylink.com
Lysander	Baldwinsville Messenger	Editor: Erin Smith Email: messenger@cnylink.com
Madison	Madison Eagle	Editor: Beth Pantzer Email: bpantzer@cnylink.com
Manlius	Eagle Bulletin	Editor: Tami Zimmerman Email: bulletin@cnylink.com
Marcellus	Eagle Observer	Editor: Ami Olson Email: aolson@cnylink.com
Memphis	Eagle Observer	Editor: Ami Olson Email: aolson@cnylink.com
Minoa	Eagle Bulletin	Editor: Tami Zimmerman Email: bulletin@cnylink.com
Morrisville	Madison Eagle	Editor: Beth Pantzer Email: bpantzer@cnylink.com
Nelson	Cazenovia Republican	Editor: Doug Campbell Email: republican@cnylink.com
New Woodstock	Cazenovia Republican	Editor: Doug Campbell Email: republican@cnylink.com
North Syracuse	Star Review	Editor: Farah Jadran Pike Email: fpike@cnylink.com
Oneida	Madison County Courier	Martha Conway, Editor/Reporter 315-813-0124 or martha@m3ppublications.com
Oneida	Madison Eagle	Editor: Beth Pantzer Email: bpantzer@cnylink.com
Oneida	Oneida Daily Dispatch	315-363-5100 Kurt Wanfried, Managing Editor, ext. 137 kwanfried@oneidadispatch.com
Perryville	Madison Eagle	Editor: Beth Pantzer Email: bpantzer@cnylink.com
Rome	Rome Observer	130 Broad St. Oneida, New York 13421 Phone: 315-363-5100 Fax: (315) 363-9832 editorial@mohawkvalleymedia.com
Rome	Rome Sentinel	editor@rny.com 337-4000
Salina	Star Review	Editor: Farah Jadran Pike Email: fpike@cnylink.com
Skaneateles	Skaneateles Press	Editor: Miranda Pennock Email: mpennock@cnylink.com
Syracuse	Catholic Sun	http://www.thecatholicsun.com/index.php?option=com_contact&view=contact&id=1&Itemid=71 420 Montgomery St. New York 13201 315-422-8153 (phone) 315-422-7549 (fax)
Syracuse	Central New York Business Journal	Adam Rombel Editor-in-Chief Phone: (315) 579-3902 E-mail: arombel@cnybj.com
Syracuse	Daily Orange	Stephanie Musat, Editor in Chief Meredith Galante, Managing Editor (315) 443-9798 editor@dailyorange.com
Syracuse	Family Times	1415 West Genesee Street Syracuse, NY 13204 315.472.4669 (F) 315.422.1721
Syracuse	Post Standard	http://www.syracuse.com/contactus/
Syracuse	Syracuse City Eagle	Editor: Ellen Leahy Email: city@cnylink.com
Syracuse	Syracuse New Times	http://www.syracusenewtimes.com/index.php?option=com_contact&Itemid=3
Syracuse	Syracuse Parent	http://www.syracuseparent.net/contact/ Syracuse Parent 5910 Firestone Drive, Syracuse, NY 13206 email: editor@syracuseparent.net Editor Brittney F. Jerred 315.434.8889 ext 322
Syracuse	Urban CNY	http://urbancny.com/contact/index.php Kenneth Jackson, Editor and Publisher PHONE: (315) 422-7778 FAX: (315) 434-8883 EMAIL: kjackson@urbancny.com
Syracuse	WSTM	http://www.cnycentral.com/news/News_bloggers.aspx Matt Mulcahy Anchor mmulcahy@CNYcentral.com
Syracuse	WSYR	http://www.9wsyr.com/content/contact/default.aspx
Syracuse	WSYR	http://www.570wsyr.com/pages/contact.html?feed=120907&article=366507
Syracuse	WTVH	http://www.cnycentral.com/about/contact_us_form.aspx
Van Buren	Baldwinsville Messenger	Editor: Erin Smith Email: messenger@cnylink.com

We Few, We Happy Few...

2009-12-08T14:20:00.010-05:00

UPDATE: The vote was postponed but it's still important to call your senator and make your voice heard!

If you want to bring yourself up to speed on the state of the gay marriage battle, CNN Political Ticker has a very concise summary. The New York Daily News has a somewhat expanded overview, and NJ.com has an article about the supporters and opponents of the bill who showed up in Trenton yesterday. All of them remind us that the battle moves to Washington, D.C. next month.

Last week the New York State Senate voted 38-24 against S4401, the gay marriage bill. As I wrote here, I don't consider this vote a loss. I do consider it a call to action. And action is just what we're getting in New Jersey right now.

Over the weekend gay marriage supporters reacted to the news from New York with a fresh surge of activity and opponents realized that they had to take the battle a little more seriously.

Yesterday the bill cleared the New Jersey Senate Judiciary Committee. The full Senate vote is set for this Thursday.

I have a modest proposal.

Let's make those marriage equality opponents take it really seriously.

Let's win.

And.

Even if we don't win, that's not the point. We're progressives, so let's make progress. Let's make every call, every letter, every conversation count. The vote last week in New York was 38-24. 39% of the senators voted for the bill. How about we push those numbers as far as we can? And push. And keep pushing. And push some more. And after we've pushed as much as we possibly can, we put our hands on our knees and wheeze for a bit and then we stand up again and we push.

Here's one way folks in New Jersey can do that right now.

1. Show up in person at your senator's office.

2. Call your senator.

3. Write a letter to your senator.

4. Send an e-mail to your senator.

Most people don't have time for #1, so that leaves 2-4. You may be surprised to hear me recommend #2 next: phone calls. I know I was surprised when I heard that senators pay more attention to phone calls than to letters. Don't buy that? Read this article about why New York Senator Joseph Addabbo, who was funded by LGBT groups, decided to vote "No" on gay marriage last week.

So get on the phone, New Jersey and Washington D.C.! Hate tends to get people off their asses and yelling into the receiver more easily than compassion, so you'd better believe that monsters like this are burning up the lines. Don't let them speak for you. Make yourselves heard.

List of links from this article:

CNN Political Ticker: concise summary of the state of gay marriage

Daily News article providing good overview, mentions D.C.

NJ.com article about supporters and opponents who showed up in Trenton, also mentions D.C.

"Loss", My Ass! (My article about why the NY vote was not a loss)

NJ Senator Lookup

NY Sen. Joseph Addabbo, Who Was Funded By LGBT Groups, Explains His "No" Vote on Marriage

NJ.com anti-gay-marriage screed

OK, so I guess this would be "The Abyss".

2009-12-05T13:27:00.006-05:00

My five-year-old nephew was sitting on my knee as I prepared the pizza. My three-year-old niece was sitting across the table from me, and my sister was standing at the stove over near the kitchen wall. I thought it was as good a time as any to bond with my sister a bit. Plus, I felt like I had it coming. She'd bent my ear plenty over the last year with all her woes, so I figured that telling her about an emotional experience I had would not only be a nice bonding experience, but also a way to show her that I had... stuff... too.

So I started telling her about my reaction to "Brokeback Mountain". I started to say something like...

I've cried at three movies in my life: "Star Trek II", when Spock died; "The English Patient", which doesn't even really count as crying because my eyes got wet but never welled over with tears; and "Schindler's List". If you put the three of them together, they still wouldn't equal a third of how much "Brokeback Mountain" made me cry.

The thing is, it was a sucker punch. If you'd stopped the movie three seconds before I started crying, I would have told you that I'd make it through the whole thing dry-eyed. But it turned out not to be about these two guys and their gay relationship. It was about one man's relationship with his daughter. It was about how we are incapable of articulating our inner landscapes, and how much that messes us up. Ennis had all these things happening inside him that he couldn't even begin to understand, and even if he had been able to understand them he wouldn't have been able to express them. So he did what people do when your feelings are incomprehensible and dangerous: he did what everyone expected him to do. And that not only messed him up, it hurt all the people around him.

When Ennis said to his daughter "This Kurt fella... does he love you?" there was so much channeled through Ledger's whole performance that came out in those words. He wanted what any father wants: for his daughter to have it better than he had it. He wanted her to have the thing that he was unable to have, or didn't allow himself to have. It was probably the only time he'd ever said the word "love" in his life. And this simple question was the closest he'd ever come to expressing all his pain and regret and enfeeblement and longing and love. I put my head on Grace's shoulder and just lost it. I was a wreck for the rest of the night.

But I didn't say all that. I never got past the words "gay relationship".

My sister immediately shushed me, pointing to my nephew on my lap. I gaped in incredulity as she said in a loud whisper "Don't say that in front of him." I came over to where she was preparing the pizza toppings and sputtered a bit, and she whispered "We don't tell them about that stuff!" I gaped some more and she said "Are you surprised?" and I said quite honestly "I'm shocked."

And I sat back down. And the gears turned in my head.

I thought back to the conversation I'd had with her in July. And I realized something: I'm a fucking chump.

Right around the beginning of that conversation my sister said something like "I don't think you're right [for doing the blog] because they may not want your help." My response was "Yes, that's a valid concern. As a matter of fact, it was my first serious concern with the whole idea, before I even started it. And it still is." And I proceeded to tell her all the ways in which I've thought about, read about, and talked to people about that concern. I gave her a laundry list of ways in which I had already addressed that concern.

And it didn't matter. She just kept saying "Well I don't agree with you."

Well, now I know why.

I am a fucking dumbass. I was arguing from a place of clear surety - both that I was honestly addressing her concern, and that her concern honestly represented what was on her mind. I should have known better. Because my family never says what is on our minds. If we did that, we would run the risk of having a productive conversation. And we cannot have that. We cannot let go of our anger. So we bitch at person B about how much person C pissed us off, and the next day cry to person C about how person B hurt us. And if we ever bitch at person B about something that actually has anything to do with person B, you'd better believe that the thing we're bitching about has little if anything to do with what we really feel. That would be sane. That would be productive. And we cannot abide that.

She said that she believed that I was wrong to help gay people because gay people may not want my help. If that had been what she truly felt, then the news that I had already spent a great deal of time, thought and effort in addressing that concern in several different ways would have had some influence on her assertion. But it didn't.

I think that the truth is that she doesn't like gay people, and she doesn't want me helping them.

So, as I baked and served the pizza, my skull went from simmer to a rolling boil to one of those old boilers that's starting to creak and emit gouts of steam around the rivets because the janitor has fallen asleep in the rocking chair in the corner with the ol' bottle of hooch lolling on his breastbone.

And I made another pizza, and I went to hang out with my friend Dennis and his son. Dennis lives about a mile and a half down the road from the house where I grew up. I've been hanging out there since way back around '97 when I was going on walks by the house and Dennis would say "Hi" and we'd strike up a conversation. Over the years I got close to him, his three sons and his daughter. I've been a part of the family for some time. When my father was dying, and my family was tearing itself apart from the strain, his place was my cave. Being able to escape there meant the world to me.

But it seems like this year has been different. Our arguing - about politics, about anything and everything - has developed more and more of an edge. Lately it seems more and more like we're fighting. Well, that night something really changed.

I needed to blow off some steam about the conversation with my sister, and what it implied about what was really going on during that conversation in July. Hell, I sure had it coming to me. I'd listened with a sympathetic ear to him enough times as he'd come back enraged after a particularly upsetting conversation with his own control-freak sister. Unfortunately it turned out that he wasn't so much prepared to listen as to slap me down.

I'd barely begun telling the story before he interrupted, saying "Well, I can see her point." He proceeded to say that, right or wrong, she gets to say what people say around her kid. Then he dropped the bomb that I had been saying controversial things around his own kids, by way of illustrating how he agreed with her. He pointed out that I had told Nathan, his sixteen-year-old son, about this blog before I'd told him. Which was true. I had.

I avoided telling Dennis about this blog because Dennis... Dennis is a nut, at least from my left-of-center viewpoint. Dennis voted for Bush because Bush was a Christian, while I think that calling Bush a Christian is like calling shit caviar. We have our differences. Another one is that Dennis loves to argue, because it gives him a chance to "win". It gives him a chance to puff himself up and be right. So I knew that if I told him about this blog he would just leap at the chance to deride me for it and start an argument that he could then "win". He doesn't understand that I'm not looking to argue. I'm looking for dialogue and dialectic. Those are very different things. So I skipped over him and told his son about it before I told him. Maybe I was wrong to do that. But if that was bugging him, he should have damned well said something at the time. You don't wait until your friend is hurting and, in the middle of them confiding in you, say "not only do I agree with the person who's hurting you, but let me give you an example of how you pissed me off." You listen. That's what I did for him.

So we got into a loud argument - one of those arguments that's funny and zany but, oh yeah, it's actually not. Like so many of the arguments that we've had this year. But this time, after I walked away, I realized we'd gone too far. He'd gone too far, I'd gone too far, I'd allowed him to go too far, whatever. I had to change something. I was hurting because of my relationship with my sister, and now I was hurting because of my relationship with him. It took me a few days, but I worked up the nerve to talk to him about it. I figured that I couldn't talk to my sister because it's just not what we do in our family, but I can talk to him. Really talk to him. So I should. Right?

Well, apparently not so much. Because when I called him, it didn't work out so well.

I started talking about my sister again, trying to lead in to talking about me and him. Of course this backfired, because again he interrupted with "explaining" to me how parents need to be able to control their kids' environment, right or wrong. I finally broke in and said "I didn't want to talk about this." And I told him how I was angry at him because I had been in pain and, instead of listening to me, he had chosen that time to attack me. He kept cutting in with "Well, no, I wasn't doing that, I was just pointing out that..." and I kept going back to other times when he'd failed to listen, or to be supportive. I pointed out some of the times dating back to January that he'd cut me off and looked for ways to tell me what to do or win an argument rather than just listening to me. I told him that when I'm upset I don't want anyone to tell me what to do - I just want them to listen.

He kept denying, and I kept getting more frustrated. At some point, as he was circling back to the politics that were not the point of the conversation, he said "Well, I have my own opinions on the matter. If you want to make a website to help gay people, that's fine. I think that there are better uses for your time, because those people have a choice. I think you'd be better off helping people who really need it..."

Now here's where I need to stop and tell you a little about Dennis. He's a Viet Nam vet who's been on disability for many years. I don't know how many because I never asked. All I know is that he has panic attacks which prevent him from having a job, and he's lived off a small monthly government check for a long time. He gets all his knowledge and all his politics from the television. For months now he's never missed a chance to talk about how angry he is at the new per-cigar tax in New York State, how it unfairly taxes poor people, and... how this has something to do with George Washington for some reason. Dennis loves to be right. About everything. The man doesn't eat a green vegetable. Ever. But he'll tell you how you're eating wrong and exercising wrong and how you are wrong about pretty much everything, and incidentally if you just do what he tells you everything will be perfect.

So at some point during our conversation I said that he thinks he knows more about any subject than anyone else - more medicine than a doctor, more science than a scientist... and then he dropped the big one. He said "You know that a lot of people think you're a know-it-all?"

Anyone who knows me - anyone who loves me - would have known how much that would hurt me. Throughout the conversation I had refrained from saying anything about what anyone else had said. I was just trying to tell him how I felt - how I was angry and hurt because of how he had acted toward me. He apparently disliked what I was saying enough to want to deflect it at all costs. Well, he succeeded. He succeeded beyond his wildest imaginings.

Because now I've had it. The spell is broken. For a long time I've treated Dennis with kid gloves because of his situation. When I quit drinking in January, I made a special exception for him because I knew how much he likes to have someone to drink with. So I've been drinking wine with him. I've been violating my own promise to myself. And this is just one of the things I've done for the sake of his feelings and his... specialness. Well, no more. Because now I don't think he's special. My image of him is blown. Now I want to go over there and tell him "You know what, Dennis? You're right. Gay people do have a choice. It's ridiculous for me to waste time helping them. (beat) By the way, when are you going to get a fucking job, you lazy bastard? You have a choice. If you wanted to, you could just suck it up and get over your stupid panic attacks. So why don't you do it?"

He expects everyone to have compassion for him in his situation. He has to pay a tax on his cigars and it's an insult to George Fucking Washington. But when it comes to gay people having the same rights as everyone else, well, that's different. I see now that he can't give the same compassion to others that he wants for himself. And that means he's not much of a Christian.

So you can see why I need to stay away from Dennis for a while. I love him. He's my friend. But the scales have fallen from my eyes. I see him differently.

I've been lucky and cautious enough never to have broken a bone. I haven't dropped a kidney stone. The most serious injury I've ever had was a gouge in my arm that required seven stitches. So it may be hyperbole for me to say that I would rather stick knives into my flesh than to continue feeling this emotional pain, but that's honestly how I feel. If you told me that the blades would make it all go away, I'd hold them over the burner for a minute to sterilize them, plunge them in, pull them out, and walk happily to the hospital.

My relationship with my sister has changed. My relationship with my friend has changed. I didn't mean for them to change. It doesn't feel accurate to say that the changes resulted from me becoming an advocate for gay rights, because there's lots of other stuff mixed in there. But my newfound advocacy runs through the whole thing like a persimmon thread in an otherwise earth-tone scarf.

What the fuck did I expect? Did I think I was a hero a la Joseph Campbell? No. I'll give myself that much credit. I'm no hero. I didn't think I was going to change them. When I think back to what I expected, I draw a blank, so I guess I never really thought about what I expected. I suppose that if you'd asked me to articulate it, I would have said that I expected them to at least... see me true. I expected them to see what I'd brought back. I expected them to recognize that this thing that I was passionate about was a real thing - a thing worth being passionate about. I expected them to respect me and respect this new thing that I'd seen.

I looked up Campbell's Hero Journey and saw an accurate if whimsical chart of the prototypical journey. At the bottom, in the middle of the journey, I saw "The Abyss". A wry smile crossed my brain. The Abyss is the point of the journey where the hero experiences some sort of death and rebirth. In Campbell's words, it's the belly of the whale. Either one sounds about right. I feel like I'm losing my goddamn family. If that's not an abyss, I don't know what is.

I swear to god, I never used to be this much of a fucking drama queen.

"Loss" My Ass!

2009-12-03T10:10:00.008-05:00

OK, first of all: we did not lose anything yesterday. We failed to gain something. There's a sodding great difference, isn't there?

New York State has never allowed same-sex marriage. Yesterday the New York State Senate voted on a bill intended to change that aspect of the law. The bill did not pass, so the law did not change.

Everyone focuses on the supposedly devastating 38-24 vote. The New York Times, just minutes after the results came through, published an article saying that "the vote... destroys the optimism of gay rights advocates". BULLSHIT! My optimism was not destroyed. Those numbers simply prompted me to grab a calculator and quickly figure out that 39% of New York State Senators voted for the bill. 39%! Forget for a moment that, in the current political environment, we were guaranteed an upper ceiling of 51%, the percentage of Democratic senators. Even without taking that into consideration, the enormity of those numbers is staggering. Just ten or twenty years ago the very notion of same-sex marriage was unthinkable. Yesterday 39% of New York State senators voted for it. My god, people, if that's not progress then I'm... one of those hyperbolic animals.

How the hell can progressives see that kind of progress and not wake up with a smile on their faces, feeling invigorated and ready to push that 39% to 40% and to keep pushing until we get the progress that we want? I'll tell you how. It's easy if you have an overweening sense of entitlement.

People have worked and bled and died for the progress of the last few decades. Unfortunately that progress seems to have given this generation a pathological teleology. The world should be the way we want it to be, so if the requisite changes don't happen it… breaks us. We can't accept that the world hasn't already conspired to be the way we think it should be.

Yesterday I "listened" to people on Twitter and Facebook begin the predictable chorus of "Fuck New York". Even more disheartening were the self-satisfied microscreeds against all the "stupid hicks" who live "north of the Bronx". Never mind that, of the eight Democrats who voted "No" on the bill, only two were from upstate. That's right. Of those Democrats who had the temerity not to give us what we wanted, only 25% were dumb hicks.

Twenty years ago, few would have dared dream we'd make it this far. But here we are, and we're celebrating by... treating this as a loss? Having made massive progress, can it be that all progressives can think of to do is throw a hissy fit because we didn't get everything we wanted right now?

Progress takes time and effort. A 38-24 loss is not a defeat. It is the blowing of a horn. All who hear it should take heart, and throw themselves into the battle with renewed vigor. Else we don't deserve to call ourselves progressives.

Say it with me: "We did not lose anything. We failed to gain something."

Yesterday.

But what about tomorrow?

Times Square Rally

2009-12-02T21:26:00.006-05:00

It's too late for me to start writing about today's disappointing but unsurprising New York State Senate defeat of the marriage equality bill, so for now I'll just post pictures from the rally that occurred in Times Square tonight in response to the decision.

Keep the Pressure on for Marriage Equality

2009-12-02T13:12:00.005-05:00

As a media contact for the office of Christine Quinn, I got the following e-mail a little while ago. Then I clicked the link and got the phone numbers of two Senators: David J. Valesky, D-District 049 (for Oneida, where I grew up and still own property); and Suzi Oppenheimer, D-District 037 (for Larchmont, where I live). I just called each office. I was thrilled to hear that Senator Valesky is supporting the bill, and I'm keeping my fingers crossed that someone will get back to me about having him on this blog. I don't know yet whether Senator Oppenheimer is supporting it, but anyway I made the call and it felt great. I will be awaiting the outcome of the vote.

December 2, 2009

Dear New Yorker,

This is it. The Marriage Equality Act is being debated on the floor of the New York State Senate today. (You can watch it live at http://www.nysenate.gov/blogs/2009/dec/02/watch-senate-debate-marriage-equality.)

We've been waiting for this day for a long time, and it's my hope that a majority of our senators in Albany will make the right decision and cast their votes for marriage equality.

Right now, I'm in Albany after having met with senators on both sides of the fence - and I can report that our leaders in the Senate are working very hard to get the votes. Governor David Paterson, Senator Tom Duane, Assemblymember Danny O'Donnell and every one of our allies in Albany deserve our appreciation for getting us this far.

We need to keep pushing, though. Please call or write your state senator now and urge them to vote for this bill. You can find contact info. for your state senator at http://www.nysenate.gov/senators.

It's my hope that marriage equality will soon be looked back upon as a great accomplishment that all New Yorkers achieved together.

Thank you.

Sincerely,

Christine C. Quinn

Speaker

New York City Council

Meet Jett

2009-10-21T19:37:00.004-04:00

My name's Jett Smith. I'm 28 and transgendered, meaning I was born female but live and identify as male. I was raised across the bay from San Francisco, and have lived in SF for the past ten years. I've worked all sorts of jobs, from security guard to managing a restaurant. Currently, I work as a Supported Living Skills Instructor for adults with developmental disabilities, such as autism. It is a challenging job, and I enjoy it, but I am also attending school. I hope to transfer to San Francisco State University next year, where I will first earn a degree in math and then obtain my teaching credentials. Ultimately, I'd like to teach math at the high school level. In the little free time I've got, I enjoy spending time with family and friends and doing outdoorsy things. I strive to live life fully and simply.

I met Jett when he responded to my post on the Facebook page for Original Plumbing, a magazine about FTM transsexuals. He graciously agreed to be a face of the day. Thanks Jett!

Meandering Manifesto, Part 2: Moral Turpitude

2009-10-13T18:23:00.012-04:00

Continuing from Meandering Manifesto, Part 1: Tintinnabulation...

I've been thinking a lot about society's relationship with bendy people. Of the disparate sources that contributed to my musings, the most unexpected was Skylark of Space. It was written between 1915 and 1921 and first published in 1928. It's considered by many to be the first space opera, and man, it's quite a ride. I highly recommend it. You can read the full text on Project Gutenberg.

One of the reasons the book is such a gas is that it's breathtakingly foreign to modern sensibilities. For example, late in the book there's about to be a double wedding on the planet Osnome between two Earth couples: The good guys and the damsels they've rescued from the bad guy. The leader of Kondal, the nation they've befriended, is holding forth on Kondalian customs.

"I have called in our most expert weavers and tailors, to make the gowns. Before they arrive, let us discuss the ceremony and decide what it will be. You are all somewhat familiar with our customs, but on this I make very sure. Each couple is married twice. The first marriage is symbolized by the exchange of plain bracelets. This marriage lasts two years, during which period either may divorce the other by announcing the fact."
"Hmmm..." Crane said. "Some such system of trial marriage is advocated among us every few years, but they all so surely degenerate into free love that none has found a foothold."
"We have no such trouble. You see, before the first marriage each couple, from lowest to highest, is given a mental examination. Any person whose graphs show moral turpitude is shot."

Whu... buh... WHAT??? That was my initial reaction, and it still hasn't faded. The thought of exterminating people who don't live up to a standard has been anathema to most folks ever since Hitler's Final Solution. Obviously the idea wasn't so abhorrent in 1921.

Speaking of extermination, the second most breathtaking thing about the book is that the Earth people give the Kondalians the technological knowledge that will allow them to annihilate their Mardonalian enemies. Just a few pages after the wedding, we find a justification for this action.

"You do not understand?" he went on, with a deep light shining in his eyes. "It is inevitable that two peoples inhabiting worlds so widely separated as are our two should be possessed of widely-varying knowledge and abilities, and these strangers have already made it possible for us to construct engines of destruction which shall obliterate Mardonale completely...." A fierce shout of joy interrupted the speaker and the nobles sprang to their feet, saluting the visitors with upraised weapons. As soon as they had reseated themselves, the Karbix continued:
"That is the boon. The vindication of our system of evolution is easily explained. The strangers landed first upon Mardonale. Had Nalboon met them in honor, he would have gained the boon. But he, with the savagery characteristic of his evolution, attempted to kill his guests and steal their treasures, with what results you already know. We, on our part, in exchange for the few and trifling services we have been able to render them, have received even more than Nalboon would have obtained, had his plans not been nullified by their vastly superior state of evolution."

Wow. Now I see Star Trek's Prime Directive in the context of the late twentieth century. The contrast between E.E. "Doc" Smith and Gene Roddenberry is blinding: at the beginning of the twentieth century, there were clearly some lessons yet to learn about stepping into a foreign civil war and handing over weapons to "our guys". And there's that pesky genocide issue again.

World War II gave people in the United States a powerfully negative association with racial sanctions. I think that this stigma favors inclusiveness, so it helps progressive movements. On the other hand, World War II also made socialism into a Brobdingnagian boogeyman by associating it with both National Socialism and Communism. Just glance at today's headlines and you'll see that that one's still got legs.

There are plenty of people alive today who, as children, ran laughing past newsstands stocked with the issues of Amazing Stories that brought Doc Smith's unapologetically genocidal and eugenics-happy vision to the general public. They liked it well enough for it to blossom into a series of books, so apparently folks had no problem with an absolutist, conformist vision of their society. Think of the changes that have been wrought in a single lifetime. Think of the assumptions and certainties that have shattered. Be grateful for the opportunities that the twentieth century afforded for progressives, and understand how fragile the circumstances are in which progressive thought can fluorish. And be aware that the bubble could pop at any moment. We have to be smart about how we maintain and reinforce it.

From the Office of Speaker Quinn: LGBT Hate Crime in Queens

2009-10-13T17:18:00.006-04:00

As a media representative of the office of NYC Council Speaker Christine Quinn, I'm passing along the following statement which was released along with the press conference which she gave yesterday on the same subject. You can also view it as a Google document.

THE COUNCIL OF THE CITY OF NEW YORK

OFFICE OF COMMUNICATIONS

CITY HALL

NEW YORK, NY 10007

http://council.nyc.gov

(212) 788-7116

For Immediate Release

October 12, 2009

Contact: Eunic Ortiz 646-279-1659

PHOTOS: William Alatriste walatriste@council.nyc.gov

Release # 098-2009

Council Speaker Christine C. Quinn and Local Leaders Denounce LGBT Hate Crime in Queens

College Point, Queens – City Council Speaker Christine C. Quinn was joined today by LGBT and community leaders in responding to a recent violent hate attack, which occurred early Friday morning. The victim, Jack Price, is recovering at New York Hospital Queens.

State Senator Tom Duane, Council Member John Liu, and community leaders Daniel Dromm, Jimmy Van Bramer and Kevin Kim stood with Speaker Quinn in denouncing the attack.

Price was attacked by two men for being known as an openly gay man in his community. The assailants were heard making derogatory anti-gay comments at the victim prior to the attack. The incident occurred early Friday morning outside a deli in Price's College Point neighborhood. The NYPD has caught one of two suspects being sought for the crime, Daniel Aleman. He is currently being held in police custody and is charged with assault, aggravated assault as a hate crime, and aggravated harassment.

“When someone is attacked for being who they are, and for being proud of who they are, there is no other explanation for that attack than hatred and bigotry. In response, we will do all in our power as individuals, as a community and as a city to ensure that whoever commits such a vile act of hate is prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law,” said Speaker Christine C. Quinn. “I know the Queens community is outraged that hate has tainted their streets, and I know they will join with us in helping the local authorities find the second suspect. I applaud the NYPD for taking swift action on this case, and I know they will continue their efforts until justice is served. My thoughts and prayers are with the family and friends of Jack Price and I hope and pray for his speedy recovery.”

"I am deeply saddened and angered that yet another hate-motivated crime has occurred in New York City,” said State Senator Thomas Duane. “Hate and prejudice of any kind are unacceptable anywhere and it is deplorable that any person, regardless of their sexual orientation, would be victimized so with such malice and brutality. The New York Police Department should be congratulated for their work in bringing one of the assailants to justice and I am confident that by working together with the Queens community, justice will ultimately be meted out to all who were involved in this hate crime. My deepest sympathy and prayers are now with the Price family."

“Once again, in Queens, a gay man has been brutally beaten simply because of who he is. This is deplorable. All righteous people - gay and non-gay - must speak out loudly against hate crimes because it is the only way to combat this type of violence,” said Daniel Dromm of Queens. “This is the fourth time in 19 years that a gay man in Queens lies near death, or actually died, because he was beaten for being gay. Enough is enough. My thoughts and prayers are with Jack Price as he struggles for life in NY Hospital of Queens. One can't imagine how devastating an attack of this type must be to the Price family. I offer my support and help to Mr. Price and his family.”

“This tragic and senseless incident is yet another reminder of how far we have to go toward making our City one that is free of hatred and violence at all times and for all people,” said Jimmy Van Bramer of Queens. “My thoughts and prayers are with the victim, his family and friends.”

Meet Dan

2009-10-09T18:49:00.004-04:00

I have wondered several times in the last year or so just what really happened to the past 10 or 15 years. How did I all of a sudden become a 43 year old man?! And was my 25th high school reunion really this past summer? I spend my days raising money for a small HIV/AIDS agency in Boulder, Colorado called Boulder County AIDS Project. I enjoy the challenge of convincing folks that AIDS is not over, that there is no cure for AIDS, and that AIDS agencies around the country are doing vital work. It blows my mind that as HIV rates increase to crazy numbers within the gay/bi male communities, very few people are actually talking about it. And even less are donating money to the groups making sure AIDS does not leave the headlines. Meanwhile I am always searching for the newest vegan yumminess. Yes, A gay vegan. Go figure. There are not many of us but we do exist. I am also one of those men who decided to marry the love of his life. My favorite t-shirt is the one I ordered from a Facebook ad that says “Marriage is so Gay”. During my work day I daydream about the next walk I get to take with my husband and our dogs, or about the beach house I want to rent next summer. I am still glad that I voted for Obama and very much hope he increases troops in Afghanistan. Many years in the US Navy might have something to do with that thought.

I met Dan after @BoulderAIDS followed me on Twitter and I asked if anyone there wanted to be a face of the day. Thanks, Dan, for contributing your face and story!

From the Office of Speaker Quinn: National Equality March

2009-10-07T19:00:00.001-04:00

As a media representative of the office of NYC Council Speaker Christine Quinn, I received two notices during the last few days about this weekend's National Equality March in Washington, D.C.

Speaker Christine C. Quinn urged New Yorkers in her weekly podcast to sign up and get on a bus to DC on October 11th for the National Equality March. Speaker Quinn has sponsored several buses for Sunday's trip - to see a list of her and other NYC to DC buses for the 11th visit www.nycgomarch-cq.eventbrite.com. The Speaker will travel from NYC to DC on the 11th on one of her buses and march. She will also be speaking during the ceremonies immediately following the National Equality March.

See the video below of Speaker Quinn promoting the march.

The media advisory below came yesterday. You can also view it as a Google document here.

THE COUNCIL OF THE CITY OF NEW YORK

OFFICE OF COMMUNICATIONS

CITY HALL

NEW YORK, NY 10007

(212) 788-7116
http://council.nyc.gov

FOR PLANNING PURPOSES ONLY

Contact: Eunic Ortiz 646-279-1659

***MEDIA ADVISORY***

Council Speaker Christine C. Quinn Addresses the ‘National Equality March’ in Washington D.C.

SUNDAY, OCTOBER 11, 2009

New York City Council Speaker Christine C. Quinn will travel to Washington D.C. Sunday to march with thousands of New Yorkers and tens of thousands of Americans in support of full equality for LGBT people.

5:30 AM Greets New Yorkers and embarks on a bus to D.C.

MANHATTAN - 16 W. 22nd Street between 5th & 6th Avenues

Buses depart at 6 AM

10:30 AM Arrives in D.C. along with thousands of New Yorkers

WASHINGTON D.C. - Union Station

12:00 PM Marches in the National Equality March

WASHINGTON D.C. - Corner of K Street and 15^th Street

Route: http://bit.ly/45vsUl

2:45 PM Addresses the National Equality March in front of The Capitol

WASHINGTON D.C. - Corner of 1^st Street and Maryland Avenue (Capitol, West Lawn)

**All media requests please contact Eunic Ortiz at 646-279-1659 or email her at eortiz@council.nyc.gov

Meet Matt

2009-10-07T06:00:00.002-04:00

I’m one of those guys who always excelled academically, but was terrible in sports. So I coasted through elementary school, high school and even college as that over-achieving dork, getting in and out of college with an Aerospace Engineering degree in 4 years. Of course, one would think that with a degree like that, one’s future is set… not in my case. I worked as an engineer in a great research and development position (lasers used for manufacturing)… gold in the eyes of many of my peers. But I soon got bored and thought “I went to school for this!?” As the low man on the totem pole with just a BS degree (compared to all of their various PhDs around me), I had a chance to work on the equipment we developed alongside an occasional sales meeting or two. I soon realized “hey, I could do that… perhaps even better” and leapt at the chance to go from R&D into technical sales. It worked. I spent the next decade honing my sales and marketing skills, while still maintaining a strong foothold in the world of technology. So when the Internet came along, it was an easy transition to begin what I first thought was going to be a small online project for the GLBT community that soon morphed into one of the largest GLBT online communities of its time.

Being able to both feel comfortable with technology and, at the same time, apply that technology to our various new clients seeking to reach the online GLBT community (thanks to my sales and marketing experience in the laser machine tool world) was what allowed me and my little company to grow far beyond anything I had first imagined when I started this project in 1995. I’ve since sold everything and have moved on, focusing more as a consultant now with companies that still want to reach the online GLBT community, but with some of the more advanced marketing tools at their disposal such as Facebook, blogs and Twitter. I also enjoy doing webinars and seminars, educating these companies on both how to do it all themselves, as well as what are some of the latest tips and tricks being used when it comes to new technologies available today and on the horizon.

I met Matt after he followed me on Twitter, and he graciously agreed to be a face of the day. Please check out Matt's website, www.PinkBananaMedia.com. Thanks Matt!

Meet Tom, aka Ramble Redhead

2009-10-06T00:01:00.006-04:00

I currently live in Indiana with my partner Joe and we have been together for 3 years on Oct 6th. We have one dog Starbuck and two cats Bristow and Repeat. I am a podcaster who has a show called Ramble Redhead and for the past four years I have done interviews with members of the GLBT community and our allies. The main reason I do the show is because when I was younger I was picked on all of the time for being the shy and quiet kid and with some for being gay. My self esteem was an all time low and until I met my first partner did I begin to finally accept who I am - a gay man. From that point on, I wanted to do what I could to help people in our community. I hope that my show will be a voice for those people of all ages so hopefully then can live their lives proudly and not allow anyone treat them like second class citizens. I have been honored knowing that I have listeners all over the world and they have been touched by the stories they have heard.

Over the past four years, I have had guests like Kate Clinton, Leslie Jordan, Jason Stuart, Chad Allen, Daniel Choi, Wayne Besen, Sabrina Matthews, Rich Merritt and many many more.

Hope you will check it out at http://www.rambleredhead.com and you can subscribe to the show on Itunes.

I met Tom when he found me through Twitter and asked if I wanted to be on the show. I was thrilled and honored to accept. I don't think I did too badly; I sound incredibly nasal, but I'm used to that. The only complaint I have is that I said "Uh..." too much. Not too bad for my first podcast. Thanks to Tom for the opportunity! And congratulations to Tom and Joe - today is their third anniversary!

Meet Kevin

2009-10-04T20:42:00.004-04:00

Elder Rev. Kevin E. Taylor, our beloved Pastor, began in ministry at Inner Light Unity Fellowship Church (UFC) in 1993, after several years of community activism in Washington, DC with such organizations as DC Coalition of Black Lesbians, Gay Men and Bisexuals and Whitman-Walker Clinic. At Inner Light UFC, he sang on the Voices of Praise and served on other auxiliaries, until he was called into the ministry, where he served as Deacon, Student Clergy and Minister. He studied World Religions, Metaphysical Spiritual Science and Homosexuality in the Bible.

In 2000, he moved to New York City, where he worked with Liberation in Truth UFC until Archbishop commissioned him to charter Unity Fellowship Church New Brunswick.

In 2007, Rev. Kevin E. Taylor was elevated to the post of Elder in the Unity Fellowship Church Movement. He oversees the National Office of Communications of UFCM and all of the multimedia outlets for UFCM, including the national website and printed publications.

Unity Fellowship Church New Brunswick is found to be moving into its new space, effective February 1st, 2009; Elder Taylor will celebrate his 8th year as Pastor on January 25, 2009.

UFCNB will celebrate its 8th Anniversary March 2009.

--
Kevin E. Taylor
COMING FALL/WINTER 2009

"BECAUSE HE LIVES" (a novel)

"IT'S TIME FOR SOME ACTION:
10 Common Sense Steps to taking your life back...and then to the next level"
plus a new website featuring
CREATIVE LIFE COACHING
that's accessible AND affordable!
www.KEVINETAYLOR.BIZ

www.UFCCNB.org
www.myspace.com/kevinetaylor
www.facebook.com/kevinetaylor
www.modelmayhem.com/TM3
www.twitter.com/kevinetaylortm3

AVAILABLE NOW:

UNCLUTTER: Cleanse Your Spirit & Claim Your Stuff
and JADED (a novel)

COMING IN 2010...
MOMMA, PLEASE
(a novel)
THE WORK
(A Spiritually Creative Gathering for the Creative Spirit)
and
TNTees
(droppin' knowledge like bombs)
I met Reverend Taylor thanks to Rod McCullom, who was kind enough to introduce us. I drove to New Brunswick to meet Rev Kev, and we had a delightful and engaging interview. Unfortunately I didn't record it in a form that I could post here. I've been kicking myself ever since, because Rev Kev is a joy to talk to, and I'd like to be able to share his energy with you. When I transcribe the conversation I'll post it as a Q&A here, and I'm looking forward to more interviews with Rev Kev. For now, though, I'm thrilled to have him as a face of the day.

Meet Loren

2009-10-03T19:00:00.005-04:00

Dr. Olson is Board Certified by the American Board of Psychiatry and Neurology and has practiced psychiatry for over thirty years. He is a Distinguished Life Fellow of the American Psychiatric Association and received the “Exemplary Psychiatrist Award” from the National Alliance for Mental Illness. He has held several offices in the Iowa Psychiatric Society, including president.

Dr. Olson served as a Flight Surgeon in the United States Navy.

Dr. Olson currently is writing a book on the subject of coming out for mature gay men, due for publication in 2010. He is an active contributor to several blogs and has had his essays published in psychiatric and lay publications. His most recent essay was published in The Advocate: Will Your Marriage Change Your Relationship?

Dr. Olson has conducted independent research on mature gay men, and he presented the initial results of this research at the World Congress in Psychiatry in Prague in September, 2008.

Dr. Olson was featured via Skype interview on Good Morning America in a featured health story called, Bringing Back the House Call, Virtually - ABC News. He has also been featured in an RFD-TV segment on raising grass-fed beef. He is an active member and has served in leadership positions in Plymouth Congregational Church in Des Moines, and his experience as a gay man and a Christian was featured via a video-taped interview at the National Conference of the United Church of Christ.

Dr. Olson and his life partner were married in Iowa in September of 2009. He was previously married and is the proud father of two daughters and five grandchildren. He and his partner live on a farm south of Des Moines where they raise Belted Galloway Cattle, and they are actively involved in sustainable agriculture.

I met Dr. Olson on Twitter, where I heard about his recent marriage. He graciously agreed to be a face of the day. He runs a website for mature gay men, MagneticFire.com

Meet Laura

2009-10-02T20:44:00.006-04:00

I’m Laura Matanah, and I live with my wife Sarah, our two kids, and our chocolate lab. We even have a white picket fence! I love books, biking , and board games. The best is sharing all three with my family. I’m the publisher of an award-winning web magazine, Rainbow Rumpus, that creates community among youth and families across the globe. We publish original children’s and young adult fiction about LGBT-headed families, and articles by and for kids, teens and parents. Visit www.rainbowrumpusdrive.org to learn more about our work.

Two nights ago I was thrilled to discover Rainbow Rumpus. I like the idea of kids having this resource. I called Laura to tell her this, and to ask if I could help promote the site. I'm honored to have her as a face of the day, and to help promote Rainbow Rumpus by sharing with you their video below.

Meet Kori

2009-10-01T20:33:00.002-04:00

Kori Ashton is a Christian solo artist who has opened for Tree63, David Crowder Band, Skillet and more. For years she worked alongside of Exodus International, PFOX and Focus on the Family. In 2004 Kori left those ministries and began sharing her music and the story of her journey as a gay Christian. You can find her online www.LesBePure.com

I met Kori through Twitter, and she was kind enough to contribute her face and story to Meet Adam and Steve. Thanks Kori!

National Equality March Funding Contest!

2009-09-30T18:56:00.003-04:00

I have a job. I'm very grateful for that, not least because many of you out there aren't so lucky.

You or someone you know wants to go to the National Equality March. I very much want to go, but I can't because my out-laws are visiting on that weekend. I really like my out-laws, so I wouldn't miss their once-or-twice-a-year chance to visit for the world. So...

"You got your jobless gay rights advocate in my cash!"

"You got your cash on my jobless gay rights advocate!"

Grace and I just moved, so times are tight right now: we ended up having to put last month's rent on a credit card. I can't be Daddy Warbucks. But if you bring me one LGBT face for this blog between now and October 5, you'll get a chance to win a $50 donation to help you or a friend get to the march. And, above and beyond that donation, I'll do a gift-matching: If I get one reader to donate $50 to another person who otherwise couldn't afford to go, I'll make a second $50 donation.

What do you say? Let's help some folks get to the capital.

From the office of Speaker Quinn: City Council Votes on Affordable Housing Resolution For Low-Income New Yorkers With HIV/AIDS

2009-09-30T13:28:00.003-04:00

As a media contact for the office of CNY Council Speaker Christine Quinn, I'm passing along the following.

Below is the release from today's rally for the 30% rent cap bill - the Council is slated to vote on its resolution (a bill supporting state bills) today at 1 PM. I can send you that tally when it becomes available.
Here is a link to the Speaker's remarks at the rally: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wgZCCwAVrqE
City Council Votes on Affordable Housing Resolution For Low-Income New Yorkers With HIV/AIDS

Resolution Sends Strong Signal To Albany To Pass Legislation That Would Prevent 11,000 New Yorkers From Losing Their Homes

New York – People with HIV/AIDS and housing providers joined elected officials on the steps of City Hall today to call on state leaders to pass affordable housing legislation that would help prevent nearly 11,000 New Yorkers from losing their homes. Speaker Christine and Council Member Rosie Mendez introduced a formal resolution (Res 2145-2009) supporting the legislation that will be voted on later today. "This piece of legislation will not only save money for our state, but it will save money for the thousands of HASA clients and provide some vital relief for their pocketbooks. I urge Speaker Sheldon Silver and Governor David Paterson to support this bill so we can take action towards making HASA clients' lives easier and more affordable," said Speaker Christine Quinn.

"The New York State legislature must act to correct this blatant injustice. Why should people with AIDS be the only group required to pay more than 30% of income for subsidized housing? People with AIDS can not maintain their health when they are in constant threat of losing their homes. Passage of this legislation is the humane and the fiscally prudent thing to do," said Council Member Rosie Mendez. The legislation, introduced by Senator Tom Duane and Assembly Member Deborah Glick (S.2464/A.2565), would ensure clients of NYC's HIV/AIDS Services Administration (HASA) pay no more than 30 percent of their income towards rent. According to an independent cost study, the bill would save the city and state $12 million annually by reducing emergency shelter costs.

Although it passed the Senate in a near unanimous vote on July 16, 2009, it remains bottled up in the Assembly Ways & Means Committee. Advocates say that unless Assembly Speaker Silver and Governor Paterson support the bill, thousands of New Yorkers with HIV/AIDS could lose their homes over the next year.

"In a time of economic crisis, we want Speaker Silver and Governor Paterson to recognize this legislation for what it is – an opportunity to save money for our government and save homes for low-income New Yorkers," said Gustavo Pedroza, campaign leader with the NYC AIDS Housing Network (NYCAHN) who pays 67% of his Social Security Disability (SSD) check towards rent each month. HASA's rental assistance program is the state's only disability housing program that does not cap the tenant's rent contribution at 30 percent of income. Instead, nearly 11,000 clients are required to contribute all but $344 of their income towards rent each month, leaving them with about $11 per day for all other expenses. This policy forces HASA clients to make difficult trade-offs foregoing basic necessities to pay rent each month, while many fall behind in arrears and lose their homes.

"HASA's rental assistance program doesn't leave me with enough money to clothe myself, get toiletries or make co-payments when I have medical appointments. Sometimes I even have to cancel primary care appointments because I can't afford to get there," said Wanda Hernandez, a NYCAHN campaign leader who pays 71% of her SSD check towards rent each month.

From the Office of Speaker Quinn: Anti-LGBT Attack Response Sheet

2009-09-28T18:47:00.006-04:00

A second e-mail was sent today from CNY Council Speaker Christine Quinn's office. It contained the following additions to the first one.

Attached is a sheet outlining steps that you can take if you or someone you know is the victim of an anti-LGBT attack. For more information, please contact my LGBT Community Liaison, Erik Bottcher, at (212) 788-5646. You can also e-mail me directly at the following link:

http://council.nyc.gov/html/members/contact_the_speaker.shtml

Thank you.

Sincerely,

Christine C. Quinn

Speaker

New York City Council

From the Office of Speaker Quinn: Anti-gay attack in Hell's Kitchen

2009-09-28T12:48:00.003-04:00

As a media contact for the office of NYC Council Speaker Christine Quinn, I'm passing along the following release from this morning.

THE COUNCIL OF THE CITY OF NEW YORK
Statement by Speaker Christine C. Quinn
Re: Reports of Anti-gay attack in Hell's Kitchen
Early Saturday morning there was a report of an anti-LGBT attack in Hell's Kitchen in which two individuals were the victims of a physical assault. I am obviously outraged by news that another bias attack has occurred in our city. But I am also deeply concerned by reports from the victims that NYPD officers responding to the scene did not appropriately recognize the seriousness of the incident. In fact, it has been reported that they failed to attempt to apprehend or even to collect contact information from the alleged assailant. If these reports are true, the behavior of the police officers involved was also outrageous and merits swift action by the police department.
In response I have spoken to Police Commissioner Kelly's office. They have agreed to conduct an investigation of these reports, and to have police officials meet personally with the victims this week. I am very gratified that the police department has agreed to my requests, and urge them to complete a swift and thorough investigation.
One of the most significant tools that have helped us to combat hate crimes here in New York City is having a strong police response to incidents when they occur. There was a time in our city when victims of hate crimes did not feel that the police were their allies. Any time a crime of this nature occurs, victims need to know they will be taken seriously.
To their credit, the NYPD have demonstrated that they normally respond aggressively and appropriately to such crimes. But even one such failure can begin to undermine all of our collaborative and historic efforts. In addition, every victim deserves to have their incident taken as seriously as any other. I will continue to work with advocates and the NYPD to increase and expand training when needed, so police officers have the tools they need to respond appropriately to bias attacks.

Meandering Manifesto, Part 1: Tintinnabulation

2009-09-25T19:00:00.001-04:00

I've been thinking a lot about society's relationship with bendy people. Well, I say "thinking". The process resembles nothing so much as stars winking unpredictably into view through the gaps in the clouds sweeping across a night sky. A science fiction novel from 1928 and an LGBT advocacy blog article posted this morning seem equally likely to illuminate the social struggle that this blog presumes to support. My thoughts are still an inchoate constellation, so I'm not even going to try to coalesce them into a single entry. I'm going to work through just one piece at a time, and at the end I expect I'll be better able to tie them all together. Please bear with me.

The following is my favorite passage from The Nine Tailors, a mystery novel by Dorothy Sayers published in 1934.

The time wore on towards midnight. The Rector, advancing to the chancel steps, delivered, in his mild and scholarly voice, a simple and moving little address, in which he spoke of praising God, not only upon the strings and pipe, but upon the beautiful bells of their beloved church, and alluded, in his gently pious way, to the presence of the passing stranger--"please do not turn round to stare at him ; that would be neither courteous nor reverent"--who had been sent "by what men call chance" to assist in this work of devotion. Lord Peter blushed, the Rector pronounced the Benediction, the organ played the opening bars of a hymn and Hezekiah Lavender exclaimed sonorously: "Now, lads!" The ringers, with much subdued shuffling, extricated themselves from their chairs and wound their way up the belfry stair. Coats were pulled off and hung on nails in the ringing-chamber, and Wimsey, observing on a bench near the door an enormous brown jug and nine pewter tankards, understood, with pleasure, that the landlord of the Red Cow had, indeed, provided "the usual" for the refreshment of the ringers.
The eight men advanced to their stations, and Hezekiah consulted his watch.
"Time!" he said.
He spat upon his hands, grasped the sallie of Tailor Paul, and gently swung the great bell over the balance.
Toll-toll-toll ; and a pause ; toll-toll-toll ; and a pause ; toll-toll-toll ; the nine tailors, or teller-strokes, that mark the passing of a man. The year is dead ; toll him out with twelve strokes more, one for every passing month. Then silence. Then, from the faint, sweet tubular chimes of the clock overhead, the four quarters and the twelve strokes of midnight. The ringers grasped their ropes.
"Go!"
The bells gave tongue: Gaude, Sabaoth, John, Jericho, Jubilee, Dimity, Batty Thomas and Tailor Paul, rioting and exulting high up in the dark tower, wide mouths rising and falling, brazen tongues clamouring, huge wheels turning to the dance of the leaping ropes. tin tan din dan bim bam bom bo--tan tin din dan bam bim bo bom--tin tan dan din bim bam bom bo--tan tin dan din bam bim bo bom--tan dan tin bam din bo bim bom--every bell in her place striking tuneably, hunting up, hunting down, dodging, snapping, laying her blows behind, making her thirds and fourths, working down to lead the dance again. Out over the flat, white wastes of fen, over the spear-straight, steel-dark dykes and the wind-bent, groaning poplar trees, bursting from the snow-choked louvres of the belfry, whirled away southward and westward in gusty blasts of clamour to the sleeping counties went the music of the bells--little Gaude, silver Sabaoth, strong John and Jericho, glad Jubilee, sweet Dimity and old Batty Thomas, with great Tailor Paul bawling and striding like a giant in the midst of them. Up and down went the shadows of the ringers upon the walls, up and down went the scarlet sallies flickering roofwards and floorwards, and up and down, hunting in their courses, went the bells of Fenchurch St. Paul.
Wimsey, his eye upon the ropes and his ear pricked for the treble's shrill tongue speaking at lead, had little attention to give to anything but his task. He was dimly conscious of old Hezekiah, moving with the smooth rhythm of a machine, bowing his ancient back very slightly at each pull to bring Tailor Paul's great weight over, and of Wally Pratt, his face anxiously contorted and his lips moving in the effort to keep his intricate course in mind. Wally's bell was moving down now towards his own, dodging Number Six and passing her, dodging Number Seven and passing her, passing Number Five, striking her two blows at lead, working up again, while the treble came down to take her place and make her last snapping lead with Sabaoth. One blow in seconds place and one at lead, and Sabaoth, released from the monotony of the slow hunt, ran out merrily into her plain hunting course. High in the air above them the cock upon the weathervane stared out over the snow and watched the pinnacles of the tower swing to and fro with a slowly widening sweep as the tall stalk of stone gathered momentum and rocked like a windblown tree beneath his golden feet.

I adore this passage. The skill I treasure most in an author is her ability to transport me in time and space: to pull me past the black marks on the page and into the story. I feel the old wood and the rough hemp of the rope sallies; I see the ponderous swinging of the bells; I hear the ringing, and feel the sound resonating in my rib cage. And I feel the sway of the bell tower as my mind's eye lifts off from it, swoops around it for one breathtaking view, and finally settles in and, alongside the cock upon the weathervane, presides over it all.

I also love this passage for how it evokes a people's love for their traditions. And here's the thing that makes it relevant to this blog: those traditions are arbitrary. The type of bell-ringing that Wimsey was participating in is called Change ringing, and it follows a set of mathematical rules without regard for melody. Some folks back in the seventeenth century got it in their heads that following a mathematical sequence with bells was a Good Idea, and here we have a hallowed tradition followed by townsfolk who know bugger all about math. But those people would probably fight tooth and nail if you tried to take those well-tested ropes out of their hands, or suggested changing the style of ringing. They love it because, from time immemorial, they have done it.

Except, well... they haven't.

That's the thing about time immemorial, isn't it? It is one of our most profound fictions. People have a way of convincing themselves that what's been done for as long as their family remembers it is the way it's always been. And the truth of our collective cognitive space is built on that lie. We mold a plastic reality every day out of demonstratively false assertions, the greatest of which is the immutability of that reality.

The Parish of Fenchurch St. Paul is a fiction that Dorothy Sayers wove from her own fond memories of growing up as the daughter of the rector of Christ Church Cathedral, Oxford. So while neither it nor its inhabitants are real, they evoke real human truths. People love their traditions, which to them are every bit as solid as the stone stairs of a bell tower and the generations of feet that wore depressions into them. To you and me, those traditions may be constructs. They may be arbitrary. They may be vapor. But we cannot diminish their subjective solidity one whit by ignoring or dismissing them, nor do we have any business doing so.

And if an arbitrary system of yanking on a bunch of ropes to ring a bunch of bells can so grasp our affections and screw them to a social sticking place, how much more does a system of sexual morays bind a people? Sex is our greatest compulsion. What the hell do you expect? Stop acting surprised when people act like people.

I'm not saying that we have to accept another person's tradition. I'm not even saying that we have to respect them. But we should bloody well stop acting so surprised. I know you know how it feels to grin as you enthusiastically heft that bushel basket of umbrage at that which violates your sense of propriety; after all, you're human, just like me. Just like them.

Ignore Them.

2009-09-25T13:43:00.005-04:00

Since yesterday I've seen a lot of internet chatter about the Westboro Baptist protest at Brooklyn Tech and the counter-protestors who vastly outnumbered them. The New York Times, New York Magazine, The Brooklyn Paper and GLSEN had some interesting material. But it was the reader comments on these stories that made me think further into the situation and, eventually, act on it.

Just about anyone who hears about those sad, impacted agent provocateurs from Kansas gets outraged. I sure did. But the more righteously indignant responses I saw, the calmer I became. Righteous indignation has more to do with me than with the injustice against which I purport to stand. It's not useful. So I looked for a useful response, and noticed something interesting: a lot of people were talking about the people being protested, but no one seemed to be talking to them. That's significant. It indicates a self-defeating propensity for self-righteousness. Be careful with that self-righteousness, folks. I've handled plenty of it, and let me tell you, that shit gets in your eyes and blinds you.

I love the idea of attending any and all Westboro Baptist protests in order to stage a peaceful, silent counter-protest in which I stand with my backs to them and shine all my love on the objects of their hatred. It's a beautiful image. But before galloping to the rescue it behooves me to first consider whether I am, in fact, a knight in shining armor. Even more important is the question of whether my rescuee needs or wants to be rescued. So I got the Westboro Baptist protest schedule from one of the commentors...

I want to stop here a minute to let that sink in: Westboro Baptist publishes a protest schedule on GodHatesFags.com. They publish a sodding protest schedule. Doesn't that tell you something right there? There is nothing more valuable to these wankspouts than attention.

So I got the Westboro Baptist protest schedule, Googled the institutions about to be protested, and made some calls. The results didn't surprise me. Specific responses follow, but they can be summed up thusly: We don't want help. Ignore them.

NY Chabad of Great Neck: "We don't want help. The more we respond, the more we achieve their goals."
Dr. Vitow, Principal of North Shore Hebrew Academy High School: "It takes two to tango. In this case there's only going to be one because we're not going to be here."
Principal Kaplan of Great Neck North High School: "Our kids are going to leave and ignore them completely. We've responded vigorously to ourselves to be tolerant, compassionate and loving."
Great Neck Synagogue: "The consensus of all the synagogues and schools is to ignore them.

There you have it. I'm left with a warm feeling of channeling my mother that's right up there with making a batch of apple pies. She sure wasn't right about everything, but she was right about this: "Ignore the bullies."

Please pass this message along to anyone planning a counter-protest of a Westboro Baptist protest: Don't do it. Those being protested don't want your help, and you'll only be giving them the attention they so desperately want.

The Circus Is In Town

2009-09-24T22:03:00.003-04:00

As a media contact for NYC Council Speaker Christine Quinn, I got the following via e-mail today.

Statement by Speaker Christine C. Quinn

Re: PLANNED PROTESTS IN BROOKLYN BY WESTBORO BAPTIST CHURCH

"We accept and welcome all forms of speech in our City, except one - hate. When a group plans to meet out of hatred towards another group, we must speak out and say no. The act of spewing foul racist remarks towards the Jewish community will not be tolerated in Brooklyn or anywhere in our City. We need to stand against the Westboro Baptist Church and any other group who are under the misapprehension that they can come into our neighborhoods and home and stand in hate against any community. I condemn the very nature of this group and what they stand for and hope that soon they will realize the acts they carry out daily are not for the good of any society."

Being new to all this gay advocacy stuff, the name "Westboro Baptist Church" was not immediately familiar to me. Then I Googled it and said, "Ah... they of GodHatesFags.com fame. Great. What kind of trouble are those nutty kids stirring up in Brooklyn?" Well, it turns out that they got a cold reception that vastly outnumbered them at Brooklyn Tech. While reading a second article I was tickled to suddenly be reading a quote from a friend of mine who teaches there.

At Brooklyn Tech on Wednesday, there was a calm before the impending anti-gay attack. A teacher, Sean Shaynak, vowed to be ready.

“I’ll be sure to wear pink tomorrow, maybe some stretch pants,” said Shaynak.

The exploits of Westboro Baptist demonstrators read like a "TO DO" list of folks who are out to prove, once and for all, that they have cornered the market on childishness. "You jumped into a sandbox, threw sand in a three-year-old girl's face, and stole her Barbie doll? That ain't nothin'! Why, I just got back from picketing a soldier's funeral!" Man, where does that get fun?

And yet.

My mother taught me to ignore bullies. I wish I was able to embrace that philosophy entirely; I wish I was entirely sanguine, and not sanguinary. But I am my father's son. There was a moment or two this evening when I relished the thought of feeling blood spurt past my knuckles as they shattered the facial bones of a Westboro Baptist demonstrator.

These violent thoughts came like an occasional backwash in the midst of their direct antithesis. I needed to visualize how I would respond to such hatred with love, so I thought of visiting one of their protests, turning my back to the demonstrators, and completely ignoring them while focusing all my love on the targets of their hate.

I like the thought of being a force of love amid the hatred: of interposing myself between the hate and the hated. But I imagine it's a damned hard game to play, so I wonder if it's always best to just flat-out ignore them. I suspect that's the case: like my mother said, "Ignore the bullies."

Meet Tym

2009-09-19T08:31:00.007-04:00

I have been called or called myself many things in my life.

In my early life: Son, brat, brother, hoosier, friend, singer, choreographer, dancer, lover of life, fun, school mascot, lead singer in several bands, artist, sexually confused, depressed, etc.....

In my 20s to mid 40s: Young business owner, easily manipulated, broken, forgotten dreams, miserable, hopeless, easy to take advantage of, lost, alcoholic, drug abuser-user-and addict for almost 20 yrs, smoker for almost 30yrs, abused, used, frightened, sick, at death's door, extremely depressed, etc.....

My mid to late 40s (present), I've been called: A miracle, amazing, rehab completer, drug and alcohol free, smoke free, lover of life, talented, singer, film-tv-and stage actor, inspiration, writer, friend, lover of life, artist, gay, honorable, internet radio personality, very very spiritual, happy, etc!!!

And there is so much more ahead. All good.

As I say, I created a living hell for myself in the first part of my adult life. A hell I don't wish on anyone. So for the 2nd 1/2 of my life...... I'm creating a living Heaven for myself!!..... If something doesn't bring me joy, then its not for me!!

I"m rediscovering who I truly am again and I"m loving it. I"m finally enjoying who I am, celebrating life and enjoying every wonderful moment of it. I suggest you do the same!!

I met Tym at the Kiss-In at Battery Park. He's the speaker in the third video I took that day. His simple and heartfelt statement made me proud to be part of the event: after experiencing the changes in how non-straight folks have been perceived during the last three decades, Tym was rightfully choked up as he stood there, able to publicly proclaim that he is gay and that he's a person like everyone else. I'm thrilled to have him as a face of the day. Thanks Tym!

Meet Jenna

2009-09-04T19:00:00.001-04:00

I am a student, poet, artist, activist, comic, commuter, lefty, and more.

I am also an Aquarius, unicyclist, martial artist, writer, singer, skater, scrapbooker, facebooker, videographer, and so many other great things besides queer!

At 5'3" on a very good day, I am a 'little person' with a BIG personality, and as a close friend puts it, "as androgynous as the day is long". That's just about twenty-four hours of androgyny, which is a pretty decent chunk, if I do say so myself.

And, Speaking of saying, when I am speaking, I ONLY say what I mean, ONLY if to inform or enlighten someone, or perhaps amuse them, and yet, I still talk a lot. Go figure.

I believe gender is as fluid as race and orientation itself. While the majority of us are either male or female, straight or gay, black or white or Hispanic or Asian, right handed or left handed, there is a significant minority of those who are both, who are neither, who blur the line, or just plain ol' play hopscotch over it, depending on the day. Nothing in nature is truly black or white, either or. What fun would coloring be without the grays, the purples, the greens, the red-oranges and blue violets? While most paint the world in four colors, straight out of the complimentary crayon box children receive at their favorite Friendly’s or Denny’s, I strive to draw a world free of boxes, and to see every human being not as a type but as an individual.

At (practically) twenty years old, its hard to see the wrongs in the world and not walk around like you know everything. I may be young but I feel I've gotten a head start on my journey to further equality. As a graduate from Bay Shore High School, I fervently protested the community's lack of pride in our greatest graduate, Harvey Bernard Milk. Thanks to the support of a few close teachers, and some amazing timing by Gus Van Sant, my old school now has much more than a dinky picture of him below Robert Entenmann (of Entenmann's bakery, which I must admit, does in fact have the greatest soft chocolate chip cookies of all time, but this is besides the point). This was just a small start in what I've realized to be my greatest goal and passion in life, and that is fighting for equality.

As I progress further into my college career, I am determined to practice what I preach and continue to live and love as more than just a queer, but as a good human being. I am proud to be a part of the LGBT community, and I can be proud and still be myself. There are sp many people in the world who know few if any LGBT individuals, and if they do, they know them only as "the gay kid" or "that lesbian", etc. You may know what I mean. I feel that the best I can do for the equal rights movement, as a constant representative of it, is to be nothing but the best individual I can be, in every way, and to speak out and encourage others to do the same and live free from such 'boxes' and to be themselves!

In other words, and this may or may not be a pun: There is no sense in letting the media's constant involvement in one's life wrap oneself in a label as if it were a Snuggie, the Blanket With Sleeves.

Maybe? ...Well, I say its a pun if it so identifies itself as such. Like I was saying, who am I to judge?

I met Jenna when a mutual Twitter friend referred her to me. She enthusiastically agreed to be a face of the day. Thanks Jenna!

Meet John

2009-09-03T22:20:00.007-04:00

I'm John Kwiatkowski. I live in Houston, TX, and manage a bookstore in Sugarland, TX. That means I own way too many books, and spend too much time reading. I just turned 30 in November, and have been having the best year of my life. My husband Matt and I just bought our first house in April. The process was stressful, but so worth it when I come home from work every night. Although, I sometimes doubt how worth it the whole thing was when I'm mowing the lawn in the Texas heat.

I was originally born in Delaware, but moved to Texas with my family in 1989. I've been in Houston for nine years, and love everything about the city. When I first moved here, I worked in a gay bookstore/coffee shop. It was one of the best jobs I ever had, and one that I still miss everyday. When I'm not working, or reading I love to go see live concerts and stage productions. Every week, I get together with a group of friends for Gay Movie Saturday. We hang out and watch GLBT themed movies that we haven't seen before.

I met John when we followed each other on Twitter and I asked him to be a face of the day. At first he was reticent about appearing alongside people like Billie Myers and poets and movie makers, but I assured him that the whole point of this blog is that GLBT folks are regular people, so that's what I'm looking for. Thanks for contributing your face and story, John!

Musings of a Novitiate Ally, Part 5: What's a Word Between Jonahs?

2009-09-01T19:35:00.017-04:00

In my entries So You Think Gay Sex Is Weird? and Shower Thoughts I used the word "unusual" in reference to gay sex. From a purely annotative standpoint it was an apt descriptor. I know that, all too often, connotations carry the day, but that's not my problem. People who want to fight about semantics will find a way to do so. I'm not going to hold my breath for the sake of their hypersensitive feathers. On the contrary, I rather enjoy the thought of ruffling them.

And yet.

Y'see, I talk a good game. But the thought of conflict, of offending people, still bothers me. So, although I had no intention of changing my wording, I kept worrying that I'd lose readers who took offense at my use of the word "unusual". This came to a head during a morning walk. My more demure self was once again insisting "But people do have negative associations with words like 'unusual'!"... and then I stopped, dumbfounded.

People have negative associations with the word "unusual".

We are insane creatures.

The word "unusual" should have no more potential for negative connotations than words like "lateral" or "clockwise" or "rectangular". It should be clinical in its descriptiveness. But we're not clinical, are we? We are meat. We dance to the tune of blood and hormones while singing of our rationality. We act on our emotional reactions and retroactively construct logical frameworks to support those acts. If you face it square on, though, no construct can disguise our irrationality. Any race that snarls at the unusual is a race of animals.

And this is what stopped me in my tracks. I already saw arguing over semantics as a waste of time. After that thought hit me, I saw it as an absurdity of cosmic proportions. It brings to my mind the picture of two lost hikers taking shelter in a cave. While starting a fire they notice a nasty smell. Then the firelight reveals two remarkably uniform and pointed rows of white stones edging the top and bottom of the cave entrance. Our hikers look closely and find that the stench is coming from bits of rotting meat stuck between the stones. They proceed to argue about whether they should just go to sleep, or take the trouble to remove the source of the offending smell.

Stand outside that "cave". Look at the two bickering buffoons. If we waste time arguing over semantics, we are them. We are progressives standing in the steel-trap jaws of an intrinsically irrational human society. Any second it's liable to snap closed and swallow us in a wave of conservatism. We need to stop messing around and focus on the presence of the jaws.

Meet Nathan

2009-08-31T20:40:00.007-04:00

Nathan Treanor is the voice and writer behind Nathan OUTloud, a regular podcast and blog that deals with issues currently facing the LGBT community. After spending the past 5+ years working as a volunteer for the Human Right Campaign and a member of the Board of Governors since October 2008 - Nathan decided it was time to get back in touch with his broadcasting roots and start the podcast and blog. With a focus on coming out stories and also political advocacy and activism, there is something for everyone in every episode.

After growing up in Utah, Nathan moved to Southern California and has since then been living in Arizona for the past 5 years.

You can follow Nathan on:

twitter.com/NathanOutLoud
facebook.com/NathanOutLoudFans
NathanOutLoud.com

I got to know Nathan through Twitter after we followed each other and I noticed that he lives near a brewpub of which I have fond memories. Beer is always the best social lubricant, even in long-distance acquaintances. He kindly agreed to be a face of the day. Thanks Nathan!

Meet Billie

2009-08-30T20:09:00.014-04:00

BILLIE MYERS 11 INTERESTING FACTS

1. I suck my thumb when I’m stressed

2. The first time I found myself on a stage was at a Grace Jones concert in London when she pulled a few fans on stage... thousands in the audience. The first time I actually went on stage and sang “Kiss The Rain”, it was to an audience of 2- both of whom were friends

3. Most humiliating moment was following a chicken hypnotist on live TV in Portugal.

4. The artwork for Tea and Sympathy literally reflects the title! ...Sad, but pathetically true; Armed with some sort of skinny double Starbucks concoction, I decided to surprise my then lover. So I popped around early in the morning, only to walk in, hug the person and smell cheap perfume (ok...so I’m a little bitchy) that was clearly not mine on them! As “the how could you think that” denials were flying, I spotted a cup on the bedside table which had a rather undisputedly guilty looking sluttish shade of red lipstick on the lip of the cup and luke warm tea in it ...thus the Artwork/ title.

5. Named my record label, Fruitloop Records after the “happy pills” I take everyday.

6. I was informed that Universal Records had dropped me whilst I was having a colonic.

7. I am without a doubt a dreadful guitar player. Favorite chord is Dm7 it just sounds so depressingly sad. One of the real guitarists who played on the album is Marcy Detroit who wrote Lay Down Sally for Eric Clapton.

8. I’ve got dreadful eyesight—I once asked Sheryl Crow what she did for a living

9. I am currently listening to Paolo Nutini's “Sunny Side Up”, Kings of Leon's “Only By The Night,” Lily Allen's “It’s Not Me, It's You.” Favorite songs of all time are Joan Armatrading's “Love and Affection,” Sinead O'Connor's “Jealous,” Madame X's “Cherries in the Snow,” and Grace Jones' “Private Life.”

10. In regards to my sexuality, I like to refer to the term “gender non-specific”

11. My guilty pleasure is tabloid Thursdays

It was just another day in LA for British native, Billie Myers; trying to jump start a diet, she was lying on a colonic table, wishing her therapist would stop giving a blow-by-blow description of the so called ‘release’, when her cell phone rang. “I don’t know why I answered”, says Myers,” but taking that call was life changing”. She was informed that Universal Records had dropped her.

Naively, she had thought that being personally signed by Doug Morris (Chairman of the Universal Music Group), having a global hit (Kiss The Rain), and an album that sold more than a million copies worldwide (Growing, Pains) would outweigh the fact her sophomore album Vertigo had sold poorly, despite across the board media acclaim.

Described as “reassuringly long on singer-songwriting talent” by The London Times, her uncanny ability to seamlessly sculpt poetic narratives out her life experiences, not only inspired comparisons to Chrissie Hyde, Tracy Chapman and Joan Armatrading, but resulted in Billboard heralding her as “One of the most gifted of this year's new pop crop”.

However, despite, all of the above praise, the next few years proved emotionally turbulent. A managerial dispute embroiled her in a costly, drawn-out lawsuit, nearly bankrupting her along the way, her personal life went to pieces and all attempts to get signed proved fruitless. “Honestly, at that point I would have had more chance sleeping with the Pope, than getting signed”, says Myers, in her usual off beat way.

Worn down, she gave up, and as she bluntly puts it “wasting another three years wallowed in self pity”. Flipping between sadness, anger, indifference, fear and self-pity Myers hid out at home, killing time by sleeping the days away. “I didn’t socialize because I didn’t want people to ask how my non-existent new album was coming along, I alienated good friends and I couldn’t write, which of course completed the circle and sent me back to be bed”. In short, she was a walking depression checklist.

Crisis point hit when she started talking about how great it would be not to wake up. The friends she had left did an intervention of sorts. “They actually took my car away, because I’d spoken about playing chicken in my Miata” With tongue firmly in cheek Myers laughingly laments that the worst thing about the whole period was “ my compulsion, to clean and reorganize...any useless junk had to go and in my mind, stage clothes, musical equipment and awards were just that!”

Getting diagnosed and treated for depression was the turning point for Myers. She began writing again and it wasn’t long before she returned with a pulsating and provocative new record, Just Sex. Described by Billboard as having “delicious verses that gambol across a melodic carnival imprint topped only by a chorus so intuitive that one would swear this is a remake of a song heard a thousand times before.” Myers explored sexuality with her renowned, often-controversial directness. “Just Sex” became an instant top 10 smash on the Billboard Dance Club Play chart. The popularity of which brought Myers back on stage, where as always, she both stunned and delighted audiences in venues across the U.S. and abroad. “A dance diva, I’m not,” says Myers “ But that remix not only gave me a confidence boost, it also gave me the financial flexibility to do own thing”

Slowly, but surely she decided it was time to try again, and this time Myers wasn’t waiting around for a record label to get on board. “The advent of computers and the internet has, to some degree leveled the playing field for artists...you can make records for less and you can be heard even, if you don’t have a major behind you”. Forming FruitLoop Records, her nickname for the pills she takes each day, she began writing with such highly acclaimed songwriters as Peter Vale, (Lemar, Beverly Knight) Marcella Detroit, (Shakespeare’s Sister, Eric Clapton) and Kristen Hall, (Sugarland).

Returning to her roots, Myers went to the UK, to record “I wanted a fresh start, working with people who I knew would let me be me, but at same time push me forward in a way that complemented, not detracted from my style”

While staying true to the expressive vocals and incisive lyrics that have earned her a loyal fan base and ongoing critical acclaim, Myers has broken new ground musically. Working with UK producer Dee Adam, she has fashioned a collage of sound that intertwines electronica, trip-hop beats, and bluesy guitars around her live acoustic/rock roots.

Honest to the point of painful, Myers pulls no punches as she lays bare, bruising portrayals of her struggles with self worth (“Anonymous”). Midnight losses of faith (“Send Me An Angel ...Is God Dead?”). Infidelity (“You Send Me Flying”). Defeated Hollywood dreams (“Lady Jane”).

The first single, “I Hope You’re Happy Now” is a cathartic ode to an ex- lover. Hitting you where it hurts, lines such as “Another lover in my bed, wishing you were here instead” express the lonely frustration of an unwanted break- up. Luring the listener with its infectious hook and melancholy melody, its universal relatability ensures the listener feels that they are part of a highly intimate conversation.

Ever self- deprecating, Myers says “there’s even one moment of misguided optimistic romanticism (“Wonderful”) where I wonder what a lover, so seemingly perfect, sees in me but don’t be fooled - on “Not Another Love Song” (written about the same person), the answer becomes clear, NOT A LOT!”

Notes from your friendly fanboy chronicler:

In early 1998 I took a business trip to a big Marriott in Denver, Colorado. One night I went to a party there at the hotel. I stood there, sad and alone behind a bell jar constructed of my own crippling self-consciousness, all the while wondering what the hell I was doing with my life. This wasn't unusual for me at the time; if that had been all there was to it, I imagine I'd hardly remember the trip at all. As it is, I can reach back and touch how I felt at that time, and Billie is the reason why. She happened to be singing there that night, and when she began it was like her voice pierced that bell jar, reached into my chest, and touched my heart. She's got an honesty of emotion that travels down the channel of her voice like an electric charge, and it transfixed me. The ache in her voice didn't bring me out of my depression, but it made me feel connected again.

After Billie finished her last song, I noticed that she was standing at the back of the stage talking to her crew, and that there was no security preventing me from going back there. I felt that I had to take the opportunity, so I walked back, shook her hand, and told her how her voice had touched me. She seemed not to know quite what to make of this person approaching her, but she thanked me graciously. I walked away satisfied, and very soon after I got back from the trip I bought a copy of Growing, Pains. I must have listened to it hundreds of times over the next year or two. Years later I enjoyed her second album, Vertigo.

In July I featured Michelle, of gay-friendly.org.uk. I noticed that she featured Billie on her site, so I began to wonder if Billie was, ah, eligible for "Meet Adam and Steve". Thanks to Michelle, I got talking to Billie on Twitter, and soon found out that she was indeed "not entirely straight". To say that I'm thrilled to have Billie as a face of the day is a huge understatement. We're talking major squee here.

Meet Ifa

2009-08-20T19:21:00.004-04:00

I am Ifa Bumi...

Poet, Lesbian Erotica Writer, Music Artist. Born L. Benjamin on January 4, 1974. Works written under the pseudonym, Ifa Bumi, a name derived in parts from IFAism, a Yorùbá religion and traditional African languages, which means ”someone who is giving with God-like characteristics”. Considered her spirit name in which others call her by. In her early youth, the eldest daughter of a Florida lower-middle-class family distinguished herself by her zeal and devotion to music and dance.

In the early 1990s, Ifa Bumi attended Palm Beach Business College and studied Computer Programming, though she did not receive a degree.

During the 1990’s, Ifa Bumi was ambitiously driven to succeed and she began honing her creative talents. She formed a Hip Hop/House dance group called “Image” that performed behind local music artist in various performance venues across Florida for a few years. In 1994 she moved to Georgia to embrace new opportunities in music. From 1997 to 2002 Ifa Bumi became a self-taught guitarist and vocalist. Her music style was based around alternative, rock, blues with the influences of Jimmi Hendrix and Prince.

She performed around Atlanta, Georgia known by the artist name of “Greasy Rib” in venues like the Backdrop Gallery, Shark Bar, Continent II and the Red Light Café, just to name a few. She was giving the name “The Renaissance Woman” by loyal fans during that time for her eccentric music and unusual yet entertaining stage performances with props.

Largely self-educated, in 2003 Ifa Bumi put her music on hiatus and pursued a business career. She maintains a design company of four years, established in November of 2004.

In 2007 Ifa Bumi opened her world to creative writing from poetry to short stories. She contributes to the genre of Lesbian Erotica. She creates verse that has been described as compelling, insightful, and gripping. In her first works, Liquid Toffee (2008), Ifa Bumi freely shares her most intimate thoughts on such commonly shared human experiences as love, relationships and deepest passions being a lover of Women. This also led to her music resurfacing with her Spoken Word to music album, Musoetry (2008). Her first collection of sound recordings released to the public.

About her work, Donna Allard, POEMATA Editor said, "Authentic to the core... a must 'listen too' for every women! Your pulse will beat with every word".

Ifa Bumi has become internationally recognized as a very skilled, yet perceptive author who pulls the reader into her poetry and shares the poetic experience equally with her audience through her music.

She currently lives in Atlanta, Georgia where she is studying Hebrew and the Yoruba language as well as furthering both her writing and music careers.

The biography above comes from Ifa's website. I met her when she tweeted about the AsburyPop event which will occur not too far from my neck of the woods in New Jersey. Here is a description of the installation she will be showing there.

Join Lesbian Erotica Author/Poet Ifa Bumi, creator of the Liquid Toffee Project, as she unveils an installation from her I Am the Masterpiece Self-Art collection, "Engineering Chaos" at Asbury Pop on Friday, November 6, 2009 in Asbury Park, NJ. Using an arresting visual, she boldly states, "Identity does not exist in the pools of raving chaos. Suffocate its reasons with love. Enslave its tongue with passion. Stone its very core with seeds of advantage. Quicken its death by taking its life in reverse."

Meet Joe

2009-08-19T20:23:00.004-04:00

I became a documentary filmmaker in 2004, but my first film, OUT IN THE SILENCE, is not a film I set out to make.

And while OUT IN THE SILENCE is about the struggle for visibility, fairness and equality for GLBT people in rural and small town America, it’s not a story of the God-hates-fags or the kids-who-get-indoctrinated-at-Jesus-camp type. It’s not about attention-seeking hate mongers, angry protesters, or the extremes of any side.

It’s at once more troubling and more hopeful than that. It emerged out of a firestorm of controversy, and the realization that if I didn’t shine a light on and try to understand and illuminate the basis for the controversy, it would simply pass away into history’s ether … and silence would settle once again over my hometown in the faded hills of northwestern Pennsylvania, affirming and perpetuating the fear and isolation that I knew too well as a young gay boy in a stiflingly anti-gay world.

The approach to the film is aimed at breaking the mold of the traditional documentary. It is not solely observational. As filmmaker, as protagonist, as insider and outsider, I use the camera to empower, to challenge, to confront, and to look beneath the veneer of the fragile balance of order in my small hometown. It is a deeply personal social issue documentary that dramatically illustrates the challenges of being different in small towns and rural communities and the transformation that is possible when those who have long been constrained by a traditional code of silence summon the courage to break it.

Check out the film’s trailer here: http://outinthesilence.com/index.html

Most of the film’s action is based on intimate verite footage of my own interactions with the residents of the town. The camera captures the rawness of emotions that occur when I go face-to-face with those who have used the publication of my own same-sex wedding announcement in the local paper to publicly denounce and denigrate gay and lesbian people. I engage these folks in public parks and on city streets, in churches and schools, kitchens and living rooms, at community parades and government hearings to try to get at the core of the misunderstandings. In most cases, there is no room to maneuver, but in a few, something else begins to happen. Hatred’s illogic begins to crumble and transformation occurs.

A unique element of the film is the inclusion of footage shot by CJ, the tormented gay teen, on the camcorder I gave him. CJ’s footage provides a painful glimpse into his very private suffering as well as needed comic relief as he also records the wild and crazy lengths to which he and his small group of friends go to entertain themselves in a boring small town.

This verite footage is juxtaposed with images of beautiful pastoral scenes and abandoned factories, old family pictures and home movies, graphics of newspaper text and radio program sound bites, and the hauntingly raw music of transgender singer/songwriter Namoli Brennet to create a dynamic and compelling audio visual landscape of a small town as it struggles with its own identity.

Through this experience, I have come to believe that by seeking out, witnessing, telling and retelling the stories of those who break the silence when it is most difficult and perilous to do so we increase the possibility that others will do so as well. And through this process, we also help to close the gaps that seem to divide us. I hope that this film will do the same for all who see it in towns like Oil City, small and large, across the country.

I found out about Joe through a Tweet about "Out in the Silence". I watched the trailer, and it grabbed me immediately. Here was someone who did, with a film, what I aspire to do: the kind of community outreach that actually touches people. I look forward to interviewing Joe for a future entry.

Meet Jason

2009-08-17T20:38:00.004-04:00

I'm a 37 yr old freelance graphic designer in Sydney.
I'm gay ...and a bit of an activist.
My partner and I have been together for 11 years, with our son, Murdoch - Designer Cat.

I can be found:

www.71.com.au
www.jasoncupitt.com
twitter.com/jasoncupitt
twitter.com/OUTspokenAU
ww.facebook.com/jasoncupitt

I met Jason through Twitter after I sent out a link to my Kiss-In posts. Thanks for being a face of the day, Jason!

The Kiss-In at Battery Park

2009-08-16T14:00:00.003-04:00

The sun was blazing yesterday, making Battery Park more or less oven-like. Thankfully most of us gathering near Castle Clinton for the Kiss-In stayed relatively cool, thanks to the small tree we co-opted for the day's gay agenda. Natural perspirers like me were still glistening, though, as was organizer David Badash, who stood out in sun with the bullhorn to coordinate and comment.

Watching the videos will give you a good idea of what happened. But they may not capture the peaceful, reflective, and comradely air of celebration that carried the day. David did a great job of keeping the core of the event in focus: that we were there for celebration and affirmation. Kissing is not only to be tolerated as harmless; it's a joyously human act that defines and strengthens our relationships.

And, not for nothin', watchin' chicks kiss is hot as hell. Come on, throw me a bone here. My honey couldn't make it to the event, so I had no one to kiss. You can't blame me for taking what enjoyment I could from it.

After the kissing, David said a few more words and then passed around the bullhorn. What struck me about the impromptu speeches was that two of them formed accidental bookends: they illustrated how far we've come, and how far we still have to go. The third video shows a man telling a simple, touching, and heartening story about how far we've come. He's been out for thirty years, and during that time he's seen the progress that's allowed folks like him to stand there in public and say "I'm gay", and share a kiss. The second video shows a young woman telling about how, just the previous night, her and her friends were verbally and physically assaulted in Union Station, just for being gay.

I stood under that little tree and swapped stories with the gentleman in the third video, and before he left we kissed each other on the cheek. It's been about twenty-four hours now, and as near as I can tell, I still ain't gay. Not even a little bit. And I seem to have suffered no ill effects from being in close proximity to a big gay kiss.

Kiss-In Video from Battery Park, NYC

2009-08-16T00:38:00.004-04:00

I'm glad that I had the opportunity to attend today's Kiss-In at Battery Park. I got the opportunity to meet some fine people and see some fine kissing. More later, but for now, enjoy the videos. Unfortunately the resolution from my old four megapixel camera is pretty lousy, but you get the idea.

The Worries of a Straight Ally

2009-08-15T09:12:00.007-04:00

I assume that most straight guys would feel about like I feel right now, a few hours before attending a big gay event, but I don't know how much they'd actually talk about it. So here's what the topography of my mind looks like from helicopter level.

It's sort of like a lot of the landscapes I've canoed past in the Adirondacks: a mass of light green deciduous leaves blending together into a canopy, with here and there the striking dark green of a conifer poking its way up over the top.

The light green deciduous layer is this fairly lush mass of "Hey, I just want'cha ta know I'm straight, so I ain't kissin' any guys. I'm so happy about the event that I'm here in support, but don't none o' you guys try to kiss me!"

And then there are the conifers: little eruptions of "But... what if no guy tries to kiss me?? Does that mean I'm getting old and unattractive?"

'Cause I'm a guy, folks. And that's the way we roll. We tend to take umbrage at not being wanted.

Meet Bill

2009-08-14T20:50:00.005-04:00

Partnered, gay professional with a sense of humor and sincerity! Die-hard country music fan! Soapmaking & DairyGoat Guru www.matrixsoaps.com billhanks@live.com

Bill is another Twitter follower who graciously agreed to be a face of the day. Check him out on Twitter, Facebook, MySpace, and LinkedIn. Thanks Bill!

The word from the NYPD on tomorrow's Kiss-In

2009-08-14T17:29:00.004-04:00

After getting the memo from NYC Council Speaker Quinn's Office about the LGBT Advisory Committe, I contacted the LGBT Community Liaison, NYPD Detective Tim Duffy, about tomorrow's Great Nationwide Kiss-In event at Battery Park. Given the way that anti-gay websites are stirring up anger by portraying the event as public sex and a danger to children, I wanted to know if the NYPD has made any special preparations. Here is his response.

Hugh,

The event is occurring in the confines of the 1st Precinct inside Battery Park. We are not expecting any anti protestors at this time. The Parks Department and 1st Precinct are aware of the event and will monitor it.

You can let everyone know that anyone observed harassing/assaulting anyone will be dealt with by the NYPD to the fullest extent of the law.

Also inform all that anyone that is the victim of any such incident should report it to the NYPD immediately or dial 911 as soon as possible.

If you become aware of any protest or further info you think I can help with please feel free to contact me asap.

Detective
Tim Duffy
(646) 610-6017

From the Office of Speaker Quinn

2009-08-14T14:08:00.004-04:00

NYPD to Reactivate LGBT Advisory Committee

As a media contact for New York City Council Speaker Christine Quinn's office, I received the following message today

August 14, 2009

Dear New Yorker,

This week I spoke with Police Commissioner Raymond W. Kelly about re-constituting an LGBT advisory committee to the New York City Police Department (NYPD). Commissioner Kelly agreed that this committee is of vital importance to the NYPD, the City and the continued safety of LGBT New Yorkers across the five boroughs. Commissioner Kelly directed the police officer assigned to his office as LGBT liaison to reactivate the committee.

This important step taken by the Commissioner will allow for the public safety concerns of LGBT New Yorkers to be registered fairly and thoroughly at the highest levels of the Department. The NYPD LGBT advisory committee will discuss public safety issues that affect our community throughout the city. Working with the NYPD's LGBT Community Liaison, I believe that this committee will help strengthen the working relationship between the NYPD and the LGBT community and help ensure the safety of all New Yorkers.

I encourage you to raise any concerns you may have about the safety of a particular individual or members of the LGBT community with the LGBT advisory committee or the LGBT Community Liaison.

To communicate any comments or concerns to the LGBT advisory committee, please contact the NYPD's LGBT Community Liaison Tim Duffy at (646) 610-6017 or timothy.duffy@nypd.org. You may also contact my LGBT Community Liaison, Erik Bottcher, at (212) 788-5646 or ebottcher@council.nyc.gov.

Thank you.

Sincerely,

Christine C. Quinn

Speaker

New York City Council

Words, words, words.

2009-08-12T20:30:00.009-04:00

I wrote the following in response to Ben Finzel's article in Echelon, "Say What? - Eight Words and Phrases to Avoid in LGBT Communications". But I'm not picking on Ben, nor do I disagree with most of the points he made. His post simply acted as an attractor around which thoughts coalesced that I've been wanting to blog about anyway.

The only real problem I have with the article is this point:

Homosexual – as I’ve written before, the term “homosexual” is often used by anti-gay people and organizations to refer to our community with an “accepted” term. In fact, the term has been so abused that its usage now seems more clinical than contemporary and it is, to most people, a way to slyly denigrate our community. By referring to “the homosexual community” or the “homosexual agenda,” anti-gay people and organizations attempt to make LGBT people sound like some odd/strange/uncomfortable “other” that is neither good nor acceptable.

I don't like the idea of allowing our opponents to dictate our behavior simply by their use of a word. It seems to me untenably (not to mention embarrassingly) sycophantic to run around with a magic marker, striking a term from our Allowed Word List just because the other side used it.

Beyond that, I have a problem that's more a reflection of my own experiences than of Ben's intent: I worry about how this list will be used. I worry about self-righteous LGBT activists waving their approved wording list in the faces of middle America and, in doing so, harming the cause. Here's why.

I already wrote about the unpleasantly truncated conversation I had about abortion in the Cornell dorm. To summarize: I expressed an opinion that deviated from the liberal talking points du jour, and the obstreperous feminist with whom I was speaking verbally squashed me before I could even get to the point that I agreed with her. Here are some other examples along the same lines.

For a while I was in a group called Racial Awareness Pilot Project. I'm not sure that I have the perspective to say why RAPP fizzled, but from my point of view it had a lot to do with the unfortunate combination of angry black people and guilty white people. I had to have been the guiltiest white person there, and I swallowed the party line that was fed to me. I'd start a sentence about black men's complexion, and the angriest black person would say "Dont say that!" I'd start a sentence about girls and she'd cut me off with the admonition "women!". And I stood corrected, chastened like a good little PC white boy. I didn't have the wherewithal to shout "Can we stop arguing about fucking semantics and talk about something relevant?!" I wish I had.

After college I dated a woman whose feminist fulminations were just part of her broad arsenal of techniques for browbeating anyone within reach. Once we were watching "Star Trek: The Next Generation" and I made a joke about the gratuitous spandex boob shot. Well, I didn't hear the end of that one for a while. Somehow I was now responsible for girls growing up with low self-esteem. Never mind that my joke was actually poking fun at the very objectification that she disliked. I had noticed a woman's breasts, so I had to be verbally subdued.

Once I was reading in bed with this same woman. I was making my way through the first issue of Dirty Pair: Fatal But Not Serious, a fantastic American-manga comic by Adam Warren. In it, an anti-genetic-upgrade terrorist calls our genetically upgraded protagonist a "miscegenated whore". My bedmate saw this and began berating me, doing her level best to force me to stop reading with the force of her invective. Never mind that the character was a bad guy who was clearly saying bad things. I was looking at a word she didn't like, so I had to be verbally subdued.

I'm not as stupid and gullible as I used to be. I don't parrot back every bit of PC lingo I hear. On the contrary, the pleasure I take in being politically incorrect arises directly from my anger at myself for being stupid enough to let those self-satisfied PC mind-controllers get away with their bullshit. But it's all relative. I'm still somewhat of a pushover. If you're strident enough you'll probably get me to toe your party line - at least until I get a chance to think it through, at which point you've lost me. But even if you don't lose me, ask yourself what you've gained. Aside from the sense of self-righteous satisfaction you got from lording it over some lefty white guy with an overdeveloped guilt complex, you've blunted your purpose by one-upping a person who probably agreed with you in the first place. And not for nothin', you've pulled the emergency brake on the conversation before it could move past semantics. Congratulations.

We often ask questions like "Why do religious zealots focus on the bits of Leviticus that condemn homosexuals, while ignoring the bits about shellfish and menstruating women?". These are rhetorical questions designed to puff ourselves up with our own moral immaculateness. To that question, the obvious answer is "They're not truly concerned about carrying out scriptural doctrines; they're using the Bible to justify a preexisting hatred." I submit that the answer to the following question is just as obvious.

Why do liberals constantly tell people what words they should and shouldn't use?

I think that the equally obvious answer is "Because they like feeling morally superior. They like winning arguments. They like feeling the surge of power that comes from getting someone to go along with what they say."

Note that "things that help the cause at all" appears nowhere in the preceding list. That is because browbeating folks about the words they choose is counter-productive. It represents the exercise of vital powers not along lines of excellence, but along paths of least resistance, and such a life will not afford you scope. I say this from firsthand experience. All that browbeating ever did to me was make me give up the attempt to engage. Every time, I walked away muttering "Well fuck it, if I can't say a goddamn word right then what's the point?"

Please, please, please let's not argue semantics. When we do that, we never reach the dialectical main course. Instead we're stuck forever at onanistic brain salad surgery.

The Great Nationwide Kiss-In: Update and Videos

2009-08-12T19:52:00.005-04:00

There are 50 confirmed events for the Great Nationwide Kiss-In this Saturday, along with others that are entering the final planning stages. This is an international LGBT rights event, and has already found coverage through the AP, the Advocate, and a number of local publications. Please support it by getting the word around to everyone you know. Please see the press release, which includes a link to the national Facebook group page. This provides additional information, as well as a full list of cities and towns that are involved.

Check out the Kiss-In promotional videos from organizer David Mailloux's site.

"Kiss Me" (See David's original post.)

"This Kiss" (See David's original post.)

"I Love You" (See David's original post.)

Building Bridges

2009-08-11T19:00:00.008-04:00

This was tough for me to write about because, being so new to advocacy and activism and ally...ness... I feel like the bridge-building I do is insignificant compared to that which I need to learn how to do. But here goes.

Three ways in which I think I'm a bridge-builder:

I strive for empathy. I analyze my feelings to help shed light on the behavior of those who disagree with me. I'm a scared, vicious monkey just like those people on the other side of the fence. Were circumstances different, I could have been them, and they could have been me. To pretend that they are incomprehensible serves no purpose aside from stroking my own ego. There is no other. The other is me.
I strive for rational discourse. I have a long way to go before I can claim that my anger never gets the better of me, but over the last fifteen years I've worked to make my relationships more functional while divesting myself of anger, and I'll continue to do so. I do not argue to score points. If there's a talking point for my side that I think is irrelevant, fatuous, or just plain wrong, I'll say that, even if it means sacrificing that point. It's not about scoring points, or being right, or winning the argument. It's about dialectic.
I am working toward outreach. This scares the living shit out of me because I'm still not good at conflict and confrontation. I've barely made a dent in stage one: preaching to the choir. But with every bit of energy I expend on this stage, I remain focused on stages two and three: virtual outreach, and then bona fide community outreach like the Triangle Speakers do. I must stay focused on this end goal, because preaching to the choir for its own sake is nothing but masturbation.

My nomination for Bridge Builder:

Jude (GeekGirl) of JaySays.com

Jude's writing is compassionate and crystal-clear: kindness without glurge, firmness without hostility. I love the line she walks.

I wish I had more than one, but it's taken so much of my time just trying to get this blog off the ground that I haven't been able to follow all the wonderful blogs I've discovered. I don't think it would be fair to give any more nominations.

The Great Nationwide Kiss-In

2009-08-10T18:54:00.003-04:00

The Great Nationwide Kiss-In
is Now A 50-City, Worldwide Event!

Thousands of supporters of equality for same-sex couples are joining together in more than 50 U.S. and Canadian cities and towns to take part in the Great Nationwide Kiss-In. This event will take place at exactly 2:00 p.m. Eastern Time, on Saturday, August 15, 2009 in large cities like New York, Boston and Houston, as well as smaller cities and towns like Erie, Pennsylvania, and Pigeon Forge, Tennessee.

Today, gay-rights bloggers David Badash (of The New Civil Rights Movement and The Bilerico Project), and David Mailloux (of DYM SUM), along with Willow Witte, the Director and Co-Founder of the grassroots LGBT organization Join The Impact, announced the addition of two Canadian cities – Edmonton, Alberta and Toronto, Ontario – alongside another planned event on the island of Saipan, part of the Commonwealth of the Northern Mariana Islands. The Great Nationwide Kiss-In not only extends beyond the borders of the United States and its territories, but beyond the North American continent as well, making this event a truly international gay rights phenomenon.

The Great Nationwide Kiss-In was formed in response to recent events in three different U.S. cities, where gay or lesbian couples have been harassed, detained or arrested for the simple act of kissing in a public place. Badash, Mailloux, and Witte created this event as a peaceful celebration of everyone’s right to publicly acknowledge their loved ones – lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, or straight – with a kiss.

LGBT activists and bloggers throughout the country, as well as the couples involved, have said the recent incidents involving gay and lesbian couples kissing in San Antonio, and El Paso, TX, as well as Salt Lake City, UT were entirely related to their sexual orientation. After all charges were dropped against the gay couple arrested in Salt Lake City, Badash said, “That all charges were dropped is a win for the LGBT community, and for equality. But the fact that this incident not only occurred, and went as far as it did, shows the need for greater understanding. The Great Nationwide Kiss-In can help everyone see that simple signs of affection hurt no one, and strengthen the bonds we all have with our communities.”

While other local Kiss-In events in Salt Lake City or San Diego have taken place on or near Mormon property, Badash, Mailloux, and Witte all agree that the Great Nationwide Kiss-In should be as non-controversial as possible. None of the events will be held on or even near Mormon church property.

Each event will be specific to the community organizing it. Some will feature music and dancing, some will feature slam poets or other performers, and others will have guest speakers, including local politicians and community leaders who support the simple act of publicly kissing the one you love.

For more information about the Great Nationwide Kiss-In, please contact David Mailloux at greatnationwidekissin@gmail.com, or call him at (617) 213.0433. You can also visit their website: http://www.greatnationwidekissin.com.

Wasn't there supposed to be a windmill around here?

2009-08-08T22:35:00.003-04:00

So I went to the wedding of my cousin's daughter today. It was a big disappointment: all happiness and focusing on the couple and amicable chatting with relatives. Feh. Not once did the minister take the opportunity to turn the proceedings into a political forum. I was hoping that he'd be a leftist who picked that moment to deliver his anti-homophobia screed, and then, even though I agreed with him, I would have been so offended at his hijacking of the ceremony that I would've felt compelled to protest. I would have been inspired to start a pro-homophobe blog, and then I could've started flame wars with myself between the two blogs.

That would've been cool.

Meet Tyler

2009-08-07T19:57:00.006-04:00

Progressing further into my twenty third year of life, I'm discovering more features of this crazy sphere we call 'the World'. This wouldn’t be a bad application idea to have on your iPhone, ‘The World in the Palm of Your Hands’. A ‘tell all’, one touch, preventions and precautions of the world we live in.

Now, I’m not a self-righteous cutting Emo child lost amongst the multitudes of generation ‘Y’, nor am I a self proclaimed martyr for the blog. As a matter of fact, I’m a blog virgin, ready to bare my inner privates between the silky smooth rayon fabric sheets of the World Wide Web.

In the preceding twelve months, I had encountered the many intricate periods of what some may metaphorically label as ‘that’s life’, ‘one door closes, another opens’ and my personal favorite ‘it’s just meant to be’.

Aside the ups and downs of unemployment, personal loss/gains and other related instances I personally compare with the inevitable final seconds of a moths existence, whilst gliding into an unknown florescent glow and gazing with an amazed God like aw embroidered on its face, I had also discovered a heroine like substance. The label displayed visibly on the tightly concealed prepackaged body? ‘Love’.

The love I encompass for my partner is greater than any mislaid episode in life, the same trivial elements everyone shall experience, from being made redundant to a blunt and bitter ending of friendships, this love with such strength drowns all animosity towards the past and sutures the present.

Recently a proposal of ‘marriage’ was pitched. As the batter slugged hard with all his might, it was caught with accuracy and acceptance by distant center field, number eight.

Unfortunately this pre-packaged substance came with a socially pre-packaged bitter tinge. Comparable to an inquisitive child, consequently testing a 9v Duracell Alkaline battery with their tongue. The tinge? Legislation opposing the legal entitlement for same sex marriage.

My capacity to protest in opposition to an unjust issue was merely limited towards the local grocer overcharging or a minor noise complaint at three in the morning. At no point in the present future, would I have expected to be advocating and promoting equality within the Australian community. Picturing myself several years ago, and thoughts towards what I may say to my 'future self' (present self) would be along the slandering lines as such, “Get off the cross we need the wood!”.

Several months ago, the opening of public submissions to the senate inquiry into the marriage equality amendment bill had been publicized (the Bill seeks to amend the federal Marriage Act so that same-sex partners are able to marry in Australia, and to recognise same-sex marriages legally entered into overseas). Due to the previous inquiry, in 2004, it had received more submissions than any other Senate inquiry in history, 13,000 against same-sex marriage and 3000 in favor.

(https://secure4.ilisys.com.au/austroj/onlinesubmission.htm)

I felt the unwarranted slap of tyranny, the first time being a gay man, and the weight of a one ton bell welded tightly to shackles and clamped shut at the base of my ankle. No numeric label engraved on the face, defining its weight, only one word crossed by a red line… ‘liberty’.

Determined to get back on the wood and preserver, with people to make their submissions and support this bill, I had set up a facebook group ‘Marriage Equality Amendment Bill 2009’ with it’s sibling site www.twitter.com/equal_rights, to use social networking for a national/international gain. The groups have began to grow in numbers, and supporters are following the groups every move/post/twitter, and offering their own support and stories.

Understandably this sounds like another personal advocate’s ‘all access’ masturbatory session, but in reality it’s not. Collectively the human race has/is (progressively and slowly) abolishing social oppressions such as, interracial marriages, female/racial/same sex/disability discrimination, slavery and more.

Being a member of this exclusive ‘human race’, I feel obliged to ‘stand up’ for equality. I feel obliged to ‘stand up’ for my equality. Obliged for your equality, and if the tables were turned and heterosexual couples had their liberties banished. I will ‘stand up’ for their equality.

The world is in the palm of our hands.

I met Tyler when he followed me on Twitter and I asked if he wanted to be a face of the day. Thanks Tyler!

Meet Adam and Steve

Straight Dude. Gay News. Episode 10: Louis J. Marinelli Reveals the Truth About NOM

Straight Dude. Gay News. Episode 9: Louis J. Marinelli's Change of Heart

Straight Dude. Gay News. Episode 8: Sweetwater Housing Authority

A Perfect Microcosm

Straight Dude. Gay News. Episode 7: Confusion Over Same-Sex Marriage Laws

Straight Dude. Gay News. Episode 6: Maryland Marriage Equality

Straight Dude. Gay News. Episode 5: Amber Yust

Meet Stephanie

Meet Evelyn

The Metaphor Trap

I'm a side-sleeper.

Straight Dude. Gay News. Episode 4: Akasha Adonis

Alterité

An ignoble question for my bendy friends

The Abyss Revisited

Meet Teke

Meet Jacqui

Meandering Manifesto, Part 4: Stability

Straight Dude. Gay News. Episode 3: The Prom

Straight Dude. Gay News. Episode 2: Mission Statement

I Oppose ENDA Because It Could Lead To The Extinction Of Humanity

I recognize that smell.

STRAIGHT DUDE. GAY NEWS. Episode 1: Spectra

Response From the White House

STRAIGHT DUDE. GAY NEWS. Episode 0: Introduction

I believe that what I am doing should not be remarked upon

The Soloist Project: How to Sing to Sports Fans?

Meandering Manifesto, Part 3: The Prisoner

Meet Vikrant

My Letter to the White House about the National Prayer Breakfast

Bahati Go Home

The Soloist Project

The Soloist Project - Central New York Kickoff

We Few, We Happy Few...

OK, so I guess this would be "The Abyss".

"Loss" My Ass!

Times Square Rally

Keep the Pressure on for Marriage Equality

Meet Jett

Meandering Manifesto, Part 2: Moral Turpitude

From the Office of Speaker Quinn: LGBT Hate Crime in Queens

THE COUNCIL OF THE CITY OF NEW YORK

**For Immediate Release**

October 12, 2009

Meet Dan

From the Office of Speaker Quinn: National Equality March

THE COUNCIL OF THE CITY OF NEW YORK

FOR PLANNING PURPOSES ONLY

Meet Matt

Meet Tom, aka Ramble Redhead

Meet Kevin

Meet Loren

Meet Laura

Meet Kori

National Equality March Funding Contest!

From the office of Speaker Quinn: City Council Votes on Affordable Housing Resolution For Low-Income New Yorkers With HIV/AIDS

From the Office of Speaker Quinn: Anti-LGBT Attack Response Sheet

From the Office of Speaker Quinn: Anti-gay attack in Hell's Kitchen

Meandering Manifesto, Part 1: Tintinnabulation

Ignore Them.

The Circus Is In Town

Meet Tym

Meet Jenna

Meet John

Musings of a Novitiate Ally, Part 5: What's a Word Between Jonahs?

Meet Nathan

Meet Billie

Meet Ifa

Meet Joe

Meet Jason

The Kiss-In at Battery Park

Kiss-In Video from Battery Park, NYC

The Worries of a Straight Ally

Meet Bill

The word from the NYPD on tomorrow's Kiss-In

From the Office of Speaker Quinn

Words, words, words.

The Great Nationwide Kiss-In: Update and Videos

Building Bridges

For Immediate Release

The Great Nationwide Kiss-In
is Now A 50-City, Worldwide Event!